Oh my...the roller coaster I went on with this book. I gave it a 4 stars out of 5 rating because I did honestly like it. I tend to like when a book puts me through ups and downs and offers me a variety of emotions and thoughts whilst reading it. I found the main character, Johanna aka Dolly, to be a conflicted ball of prepubescent hormones...which is exactly what she is so well done on conveying that to the reader, Caitlin...well done. Honestly, I could NOT relate with Johanna's sexual appetite at the age of oh 14 or 15. To be honest, for me she was a sex starved rabid animal and I'm 99% sure I skipped that part of puberty but maybe that's all in upbringing. I'm sure others out there could relate to the sex starved chihuahua humping everything.
I could however relate with Johanna wanting to 'kill' herself...or least what was currently her identity. She never contemplates physical suicide but she does want to reinvent herself...and how many of us haven't wanted to become someone new? Typically, though, in the adult world, when we need to reinvent ourselves we pack up our shit and move somewhere no one has ever heard of us...get new jobs...that sort of thing. Instead, Johanna becomes a top hot wearing, cigarette smoking, substance using, alcohol imbibing clusterfuck...in a good way. She was hilarious...she was confused...she was sleeping around...and it was ALL OKAY. I feel like Caitlin was pretty clear in saying go do this shit...go get fucked up...go fuck around (be safe with it...but do it)...it's all part of growing up and finding out who you are and what you are.
For me personally, while I may not have put a hat on my head and slept around, I did dread high school and I did use college to move 3 hours away from home because any closer would have been too close...and no one knew me...and it was GLORIOUS. I was able to figure out who I wanted to be...and that shit is still changing when life throws me a curve ball (like my dad dying my senior year of college and my humor taking a dark turn).
I think maybe I'm a bit too conservative for Dolly and to honestly approve of all of Dolly's decisions, but her motivations behind what she was doing are 100% understandable. It's hard trying to navigate the world while having hormones flying around, boobs growing all of a sudden, and your hoohah begins bleeding every month...at 28, I can honestly say that bullshit wasn't all that fun growing up...and that last part is still not any fucking fun.
Anyway I'm rambling...if you're a woman or even if you're a teen...read this book...I think it'll do you a lot of good. And based on my experience, if you're the chubby girl with her nose always in a book trying to get good grades because you need a scholarship to go to college because your family is fucking broke...high school isn't that fucking important anyway. College is where it's at...at least it was for me...and honestly in terms of friendships and personal relationships...it only got better.
Basically...fuck it...do what you want...make mistakes...LEARN FROM THEM...in a nutshell, LIVE!
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