Book 29 - Little Beach Street Bakery by Jenny Colgan

This book...made me laugh, made me sigh with frustration, and made me cry like a baby.

SPOILER ALERTS...big time...because I just can't get over what Colgan did!

In Little Beach Street Bakery, we meet Polly who has just had her world tumble in around her.  Her graphic design business she has with her boyfriend has just gone bankrupt...and so has their relationship.  Given that she is now jobless, homeless, and relatively single, Polly begins scouring that interwebs to find a place to live that she can afford but also that she doesn't have to share with college kids.  She widens her search area and stumbles upon a flat on the island of Mount Polbearne where she is immediately entranced by the view the little flat has.  She and her friend Kerensa go check it out...and it's a disaster.  It's a ramshackle apartment on top of a bakery that is in need of a good scrubbing and a new roof..and it slopes slightly.  But...when Polly looks out the window at the ocean, she cannot help but feel a sense of calm she hasn't felt for many years.  

While unpacking what little things she has that the bank didn't take, some of her late father's books get picked up by the wind from the ocean.  Thinking she has lost her father's copy of Alice in Wonderland, along with all of her other recent troubles, she sits down to have a good cry...which is what we all would have done.  She is interrupted by a man clearing his throat and looks up to find Tarnie, a fisherman, holding her Alice in Wonderland.  He is also in the company of four other fishermen who make up his crew and they all lend a hand in getting Polly's meager belongings into the shanty apartment.  She starts to begin to get her life together by giving the flat a good scrubbing and baking a loaf of bread.  Polly has always had a hobby for baking, specifically bread...of all types.  She bakes a loaf and takes it down to the harbor to the fishermen who helped her out.  They are all immediately in love with her bread.  Thus begins a nice little friendship with this group of men, specifically the captain, Tarnie who is tall, blue eyed, and bearded.  Side note...I hate a beard.  I do not find them attractive AT ALL.  But eh...that's just me.  Anyway, she is in her first couple of nights in her new home when she is awoken by a terrible scream.  Upon investigation, she notices a baby puffin has crashed through her window downstairs and has a broken wing.  She binds his wing up, based on what Google said, and finds him a little resting place in a cardboard box.  The next day she takes him to the vet in town and he tells her to keep him for four weeks and then he must go back to the puffin sanctuary.  He warns her to not get attached but uh duh...of course she does.  It's an adorable baby puffin who waddles around and eats breadcrumbs.  I'd have kept him too!  

She heard from the fishermen about some local honey so one day Polly sets off with some bread and her puffin, whom she has no named Neil, to explore her new home land.  She comes upon the beekeeper's place when they each trade their wares.  He offers her some honey so she can use it in some bread and she offers him some of her fresh bread.  Literally...that's so not a metaphor for anything even though Huckle is a Georgia boy who has blonde hair, blue eyes, and stands at around 6 feet 2 inches.  Uh....yummy.  It was at this point that I was wondering who her love interest was going to be...every chick lit book has one.  Turns out...she has a little fling with Tarnie.  He romances her by taking her to a small sandbar island where they fish and cook and swim...and ultimately have sex.  They begin a little relationship but it's not a full on relationship because they never go out anywhere in public and they never really discuss just what they are to each other.  And...wouldn't you know, in a town of less than 1000 people, everyone knows.  It isn't long after Polly learns why they never really go out in public or actually have made anything official...TARNIE IS MARRIED!  So what??!!  Well I guess that rules him out as a long term happy life playmate.  And of course...the whole town also knows this...so now everyone knows Polly has slept with a married man.  Tarnie begins avoiding her so she throws herself into work and she sometimes hangs out with Huckle. 

She begins to uncover Huckle's story and she finds they actually have a lot in common.  Jobs they didn't love...people who didn't love them back...running away to do what you love and get away from it all.  She also meets Huckle's friend, Reuben, who apparently has more money than Donald Trump.  Her friend Kerensa comes to visit and Reuben is immediately smitten by her sharp attitude and lack of care as to his monetary worth.  It is also around this time that Huckle comes up with the great idea that Polly should bake bread and work out a deal with the only other bakery in town (that completely sucks) which is also owned by her landlady, Mrs. Manse.  Polly talks with Mrs. Manse and they work out a deal that Polly will make bread and Mrs. Manse will handle the money for it.  

It is one morning when she is getting up to begin her baking that she notices the dark storm clouds looming and the fishermen pull up.  She runs out to ask them if they're crazy for going out into this storm, and it's also the first time she's seen Tarnie since she learned he was married.  She finally confronts him about it but the whole thing is amicable and they make amends with one another.  Which is good because the storm was worse than anyone could have predicted.  She awakes the next morning to crowds of people everywhere and rescue boats searching the sea for crews.  Reuben and Huckle are also on Reuben's boat looking.  Her friend Kerensa has also come to check on her and they spend the day serving bread, tea, and coffee to the people and fishermen that have been found.  But there's one boat that still has not yet been recovered...Tarnie and his crew.  Kerensa and Polly go with Reuben and Huckle to do a little searching of their own but to no avail.  Huckle is concerned about how withdrawn and despondent Polly is but Kerensa promises to take care of her.  The next morning, Polly awakens to the sound of a bell tolling and Reuben's boat coming in with 4 men...Tarnie's crew had 5.  The author KILLED TARNIE OFF!  She kills him off so that he could save Jayden, a young boy that was part of his crew.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  It wasn't enough that he was unfaithful to his wife BUT YOU HAD TO KILL HIM?  UGHHHH...hello water works for 30 pages.  

Polly, with the help of her friends, organizes a memorial service for Tarnie.  Reuben, with all of his money, throws a huge celebration as a wake.  A huge party with music, dancing, food, and booze.  Polly also met Tarnie's wife and actually instantly liked the woman, but she never told her about her tryst with Tarnie.  It was all a very sad 30 pages and I cried like a baby through all of it.  It is at this wake though, that Kerensa finally realizes she does like Reuben and Polly and Huckle finally have a make out session.  FINALLY!  But...ugh...Polly gets in her head and thinks maybe that's not the best time to be making out with another man, but Huckle takes it as she's in love with Tarnie.  Now I was frustrated because they're both getting in their own way.  If only they would have actually talked about some shit but instead Huckle shuts down and Polly just assumes that means he's not ready for a relationship.  ARE YOU SERIOUS?  He attacked your face with his tongue and you think that means he doesn't want a relationship?! UGHHH!  

As per his MO, Huckle flees back to Georgia without really talking to Polly and it's not until Reuben and Kerensa's wedding that the two are face to face with one another again.  FINALLY, they talk things over and realize that duh they really do like one another.  Bow chicka wow wow ensues and she takes a trip with him to Georgia but she alas must return to her bakery.  Her life is in Mount Polbearne.  He finally gets it through his thick skull after she has returned that Polly is the one for him and she had been tending to his beehives that entire time he was in Georgia.  He returns to Mount Polbearne and they confess their love for one another.  

In the end, Polly got her happy ending.  A job she absolutely loves, a puffin who returned to her even after she took him to the puffin sanctuary, and a hotty of a man.  But I'm still pissed that Tarnie was killed off.  I feel the whole married thing effectively got him out of the way...did you really have to kill him???  *Sigh*   

Book 28 - Justice for Sara by Erica Spindler

Oh, she has done it again!  I have seriously found a new favorite author in +Erica Spindler!!  The first book I ever read by her, The First Wife, was so phenomenal I purchased four of her other books.  I was hoping to not be disappointed based on how much I loved The First Wife...and I can tell you...she's NOT just a one hit wonder!  You go, Erica!  I'm looking forward to the other three on my bookshelf and basically her entire bibliography!
I am, for the most part, a slow reader...and I read 210 pages in one sitting.  That's at least half the book, kids!  READ THIS WOMAN'S WORK!  

Now that I'm done raving about how fantastic this author is, on to the book!  

In Justice for Sara, we initially meet Katherine (Kat) and learn she left her home of Liberty, LA after being acquitted for the murder of her sister, Sara.  She was able to open a chain of organic and all natural bread stores/bakeries in Portland, OR.  But, for the past 10 years, she's been receiving anonymous letters from someone asking "What about Justice for Sara?" and the latest one she has received has dared her to return to her hometown of Liberty.  Kat finally decides 10 years has been long enough so maybe she should return home in order to find Sara's murderer.  

We learn the evidence, all completely circumstantial, that was stacked up against Kat; and we learn the Chief of Police had an alcohol addiction of his own that began after one of his son's drown back in the earlier 90's.  Cut to 10 years after the fact, the Chief is battling cancer, and his son, Sergeant Luke Tanner, is now acting chief.  Upon the return of Kat, he knows something wasn't right about the original investigation and after talking to Kat about her suspicions that the killer still resides in Liberty, he reopens the case; much to the chagrin of his father.  I like how we get to see a different perspective in this book.  There are sections that float between each person's life from 2003 when the murder occurred so we're able to take a peek inside everyone's lives.  We get to know about Luke and his strained relationship with his father.  We get to know about Chief Stephen's struggle with alcohol after the death of his son.  We get to see the breakdown and rebuilding of the father/son relationship between Stephen and Luke.  I liked that this book was from a third person perspective.  I like a peek behind the curtain and yet most of the time, I still can't figure out who the hell did it!  I have ideas but never the whole story!  It's why I keep turning the pages...I must know what happened!  And why!  

Anyway, Kat begins doing her own investigative thing, even though Luke has warned her not to...women are stubborn though.  She first basically points the finger at her sister's boyfriend (at the time), Danny.  Turns out his skeleton is that he's got a gambling addiction.  But, he was also madly in love with Sara.  Downside is though, he viewed her kind of like his ticket into bigger and better things than just being a high school P.E. teacher.  We don't all always get our happy ending.

Then she points the finger at Ryan and Bitsy.  So...back when she was a shitty teenager, Kat was just that.  She was 17, rebellious, ran with the wrong crowd, was being raised by her sister because their parents had been killed in a car accident, and was madly in love with a 20 year old boy, Ryan, who viewed her as his ticket out because she stood to get A LOT of money from her trust fund....and even more upon the death of her sister.  Bitsy was her childhood best friend who apparently always wanted Ryan, and was therefore always envious of Kat because she always had everything Bitsy wanted.  Oh cry me a river, girl.  Count your own blessings!  Turns out, none of them did it.  I was so hoping Ryan and Bitsy played a part in it...I just didn't like them.  They're were snobby assholes...

And...another frustrating thing...the nosy neighbor across the street, Mrs. Bell...everyone has that nosy neighbor, especially in small towns...she had a fucking stroke the day after Sara was murdered so the one key witness who probably would have been able to solve this whole thing can't remember who anyone is or where she's at!  IT'S SO FRUSTRATING!  And then, some asshole went and killed this little old lady!  All she wanted was for someone to come visit with her, drink tea, and eat cookies.  Fuckers had to kill her...

Turns out there was this whole convoluted plot that came about after Sara was killed in a rage but someone I never suspected.  I suspected there was just something not quite right about them, but I didn't expect everything they did.  After all, Sara had her head bashed in with a baseball bat...if that's not a personal murder with a lot of rage spurring it on, I don't know what is.  I'm not going to reveal the killer or killers or the elaborate scheme that caused all of this...after all...I want you to read Spindler!  All I will say is...Oh what a tangled web we weave.  People can seriously get themselves in some deep shit.  They seriously should have lived by the saying that the truth hurts but it's always welcome...

Honestly though, if you're a murder mystery fan, love some fantastic plot twists, and like a little romance thrown in...go read everything by Erica Spindler!  This is the second book for me and I have nothing but positive things to say about both of them.  

READ ERICA SPINDLER!   

Book 27 - Wicked Charms by Janet Evanovich and Phoef Sutton

This book is number 3 in the Lizzy and Diesel series by Janet Evanovich.  I recommend reading them in order so go ahead and grab a copy of Wicked Appetite and Wicked Business, settle in, and prepare to laugh out loud! 

Okay, so I'm a huge fan of Janet Evanovich so this review might be a bit biased.  Anytime I want to read something light and funny, she is my go to author.  Since this one is the third in the series I'll try to provide a bit of background information, but seriously...you need to read them yourself.  And when you've read these, do yourself a favor and read the Stephanie Plum Series, and hell ALL of her books! 

For lack of a better term, I'm going to call this the Wicked series because I really don't feel like typing out the Lizzy and Diesel series every time.  With that being said, in the Wicked series, Lizzy is a baker in the Salem/Marblehead area of Massachusetts.  (Long side note...I looked into visiting Salem, MA and all of its tourist glory so it was interesting to read about some of the places in this book and know I had looked at visiting them.  One day...I WILL make it to Salem!  Hopefully sooner rather than later. End site note.)  She lives in a historic home and works at Dazzle's Bakery making all kinds of yummy goodness that is just a little bit special because Lizzy herself is special.  She's got a little magic up her sleeve that somehow ends up in her food making it that much better.  Lizzy is also one of two people on the entire planet who can detect these enchanted stones known as the SALIGIA stones.  They each hold the power of a seven deadly sin.  By themselves and in the wrong hands they can create a bit of crazy, but together, they would wreck havoc upon the earth.  Lizzy, at one time, thought she was just an excellent baker until a yummy, sandy blonde hair, surfer looking dude who stands at around 6 feet tall with abs of steel showed up.  He works for an organization that is tasked with keeping folks with special abilities under control.  He's also been tasked to work with Lizzy to find these stones and keep them out of the hands of anyone who would abuse their power.  Diesel has a way with picking locks by just holding his hands over the and is just all around good at getting the job done.  There's also crazy, wicked sexual chemistry between him and Lizzy...the downside though is that if two people with special abilities do the horizontal polka, one of them would lose their abilities.  Considering they've only found three stones, it would be bad bad bad if Lizzy lost her abilities.  

Remember I said Lizzy was one of two who can detect these stones?  So the other kid who can detect them goes by the name of Hatchet and considers himself to be stuck in the Renaissance era.  He works for Diesel's cousin, Wulf, who is all around just creepy.  He's hot, but pasty white with long black hair...Lizzy likens him to a Hollywood vampire.  Wulf has a crap ton of money and can do this poofing in and out thing kind of like teleportation.  He also wants the stones so anytime you see Lizzy and Diesel working together, you can be sure Wulf and Hatchet are going to make an appearance. 

In Wicked Charms, Diesel and Lizzy are searching for the stone of Avarice.  There's a billionaire in the area named Martin Ammon who believes himself to be the embodiment of Mammon, one of the seven princes of hell and the Demon of Greed...hello weirdo.  He needs to obtain the stone of Avarice in order to undergo a ritual that will release Mammon upon the earth.  Ugh...people and money!  In order to find the stone though, they first must find a coin that has been split up into 8 pieces...ugh...pirates and their pieces of eight!  Once the coin pieces have been found, it can be used to decipher the code on a treasure map in order to find the Blue Diamond which will then be used as a guide that actually turns blue when it gets near the Avarice stone.  But, it will only 'work' when in the hands of someone with Lizzy's abilities.  Through a tale of interweaving pirate tales, Lizzy and Diesel are able to find the pieces of the coin, find the blue diamond, and find the stone.  Of course, things never go that smoothly, especially when you've got a billionaire freak on the loose who thinks he's a fucking demon of Greed.  Hijinks about for these guys.  Glo, the counter girl at Dazzle's Bakery, botches a spell to make Ammon forget they stole his treasure map and ends up making him think he's a fucking dog.  Hatchet and Wulf keep showing up throwing a monkey wrench into the plan.  Speaking of monkeys, Diesel has one named Carl who says EEP a lot, flips the bird, and moons people.  You meet Carl in one of the Stephanie Plum books!  There's a crazy history professor that wants to find the stone for himself but he ends up falling off a ledge and breaking his neck.  A private investigator hired by Ammon to find the coin ends up shooting himself and then falling thereby causing him to break his neck.  There's a coroner who can see the last thing his 'patients' thought.  Oh and Ammon wants Lizzy to write a cookbook and gets her to sign a contract so he basically owns everything she's ever thought of cooking.  DO YOU SEE HOW THIS COULD BE HILARIOUS? 

Seriously, this book is nothing by shenanigans that had me laughing out loud a couple of times to the point I couldn't keep reading until I calmed down.  This shit would seriously only happen to Lizzy!  It's such a light hearted book that things are settled within a couple of pages when Ammon tries to complete the ritual to become Mammon.  The ritual requires a sacrifice but he doesn't want to kill Lizzy himself because he's going to be busy receiving the power of Mammon so he wants his assistant, Rutherford, to do it.  Well shit, Ammon.  Never give a gun to a man who has no clue what to do with it.  Rutherford ends up accidentally shooting Ammon in the chest thereby killing him and all is well with Lizzy when Diesel comes swooping in.  Only to Lizzy would this shit happen, I tell you!    

I laughed so many times during this book and I just absolutely love the relationship between Lizzy and Diesel.  He doesn't always stick around and he typically just shows up out of no where, but they have some weird sort of relationship like they both know they belong to one another.  I absolutely love this series, sometimes I think more than the Stephanie Plum series.  I cannot wait for the next one to come out which I'm sure will be a while from now.  Until then, I'll have to catch up on the Plum series.  I cannot say enough good things about the Wicked series.  Well done, Evanovich and Sutton, well done!  

My final words, 

READ THE LIZZY AND DIESEL SERIES!  NOW, DAMN IT!   

Book 26 - The Wicked Will Rise by Danielle Paige

The Wicked Will Rise is the next installment (hopefully) to the Dorothy Must Die series.  For more information from my perspective on that one, see the post about book 23 :) 

UGH...DOROTHY...*SNARL* 

We pick up where we left off with Amy and Ozma being carried away by the faux winged monkeys, Ollie and Maude, after Amy has just removed the Tin Man's heart.  They're headed to the Queendom of the Wingless Ones to regroup since all hell just broke loose in the Emerald City at the palace.  However, on the way they encounter the Lion...this damn lion, man.  Amy begins to tap into some seriously dark magic within herself and almost crosses a line in the sand into a very dark place that she may not be able to come back from.  She ends up defeating the Lion by cutting off his tail which is where his courage is stored.  Still...a side of Amy is revealed that is downright frightening to those around her and maybe a little bit to herself...but what's even more frightening is how much she actually likes the darkness.  I think it speaks to human nature though...there's a little bit of dark in all of us...just what can a person be driven to do?

Once in the land of the monkeys, Amy goes before Queen Lulu who is a monkey with a bad ass attitude who basically makes it seem like she's allowing Amy to stay there out of the goodness of her monkey heart.  Ugh...I spent most of this little trip rolling my eyes at Lulu.  It's during the time that we're chilling with the monkeys that we learn just who the fuck Pete is.  Apparently, when Ozma was birthed, created, whatever, she was a baby that was stolen away by the Wizard (dick) and given to Mombi because he thought he could do such a better job at ruling Oz.  Mombi was a novice witch and when she tried to mask Ozma's true identity she accidentally created another soul within the same body.  I know..weird concept but when you actually read it, it makes a lot more fucking sense.  Anyway...Amy learns that if she taps into her magic, she can see these magical strings that make up everything and by manipulating a few of them, she can pull Pete forward and he can take over while Ozma in her loopy, no good state is suppressed.  Amy and Pete are hanging out when Mombi teleports in from out of nowhere, is arrested by the monkeys, and placed on trial for basically being a wicked witch.  She's an excellent actress, that Mombi.  Mombi basically sets herself up Amy's room to recuperate after the battle she was just in at the palace while she sends Amy and Ozma on a mission to find Polychrome, the daughter of the Rainbow.  Sometimes, more than once, I wondered if Paige was on an acid trip while writing these books...they're entertaining at least *shrug*.  

Along the way to find Polychrome, Amy and Ozma go through the Fog of Doubt where you see Amy start to begin to find herself and her confidence.  Once she passes the test in the Fog of Doubt, they must find the Island of Lost Things which you can only find by being utterly and truly lost.  Once on the island they find Nox!  Woot Woot!  I was relieved to learn the hottie with a body hadn't died during the skirmish at the palace!  Also showing up on the island is Bright...another hottie who knows Polychrome and agrees to take them to her.  From there we go to Rainbow Falls where we meet Polychrome and learn that Bright is her consort.  Polychrome knows some fairy magic so Amy gives her the Tin Man's heart and the Lion's tail in hopes she can figure out who placed the magic on them.  Mombi also sent Amy to Polychrome in hopes she would be able to undo whatever Dorothy has done to Ozma in order to bring the Queen back to her senses.  Polychrome has some ideas, but in order to do so, Pete would more than likely be erased.  Pete hears this, flips his shit, knocks Amy out, goes to Glinda who in turn arrives in Rainbow Falls with fucking Dorothy and they burn that shit to the ground.  In the skirmish in the sky, Polychrome and her familiar are killed but we learn that Dorothy can't be killed by Amy and Amy can't be killed by Dorothy....curious.  Bitches, Dorothy and Glinda, also escape with a kidnapped Ozma.    

Amy and Nox get off the charred remains of Rainbow Falls by some magic doorway thanks to Bright and they come face to face with a yellow brick wall.  Amy loses her shit and begins beating the wall until her dark magic comes out and she transforms into some hideous creature.  Luckily, she pulverizes the wall and Nox is able to bring her ass back to normal.  The monkeys show up and reveal that Glinda and Dorothy just arrived not long before.  Behind the brick wall is the Emerald City but it has been corrupted into something foul and evil.  On the steps of the palace Amy and Nox find the Scarecrow with his brain empty but Amy still rips his head off.  Once inside the palace, they see that everything is just wrong: there's a jungle growing out of the ceiling, staircases in midair, and Dorothy and Ozma are heading up one of those staircases in order to get to the maze that apparently surrounds the heart of Oz.  Nox can't teleport but Amy is able to by slipping into the shadow world so she is able to follow them in secret.  They get to the heart of the maze where the Wizard is.  

The Wizard is seriously on a power trip...ugh.  It's a bit stereotypical honestly...a man wanting power...I'm just saying.  He somehow holds a hypnotic power over Dorothy and Amy so that they both become compliant with what he wants.  It is now that we learn that apparently Kansas and Oz are the same place, just basically on different dimensions and that in order to power Oz, it's been coming from Kansas thus the reason it's such a dull place.  Once again...acid trip??  Anyway, another tornado comes into play, Pete somehow bursts through Ozma's chest so now they're 2 different individuals, and Dorothy snaps out of the spell by all of the commotion and kills the shit out of the Wizard.  Like holy shit, can you say blood splatter?  Anyway, with the tornado, Amy and Dorothy are transported back the fuck to Kansas!  What the monkey??!!  It is then that Amy notices three figures in cloaks, one of them is Glamora and she tells Amy to "Rise".  So side note on that...on her first night in monkey country, Amy had a dream that she stumbled upon three witches around a fountain and they told her to "Rise" and out of the fountain came Ozma, but she was darker than Amy knows her to be.  Turns out it was some foreshadowing.  Anyway, back in Kansas they tell her to "Rise" and she steps forward, but she also hears a man calling her name.  She can't place who it is or why it's important so I'm left hanging wondering if it's Pete or Nox.  It better fucking be Nox.  Nox is the love interest and I need him to stay around.  By the way, Pete is gay which I felt came out of left field but honestly I probably shouldn't be surprised considering he's been part of a fucking princess his entire life.  

So yeah...Pete is no longer part of Ozma.  I'm still not sure that whatever spell Dorothy placed on Ozma is broken.  I have no idea what will happen to Dorothy now that she's back in the world of Kansas.  I don't know if Kansas and Oz have now somehow merged or if she's in legit Kansas.  I don't know where Nox or Pete are.  I just know that Amy is about to be full on witchy and Glamora is alive.  I also don't know what happened to Glinda but apparently the monkeys were able to do a little damage to her.  It's like an episode of Lost...I have 45 new questions and not a single fucking answer.  Ugh...this is what sucks about reading a series still in progress.  I want answers NOW!  And I have no idea when the next book will be out!!!  

Hurry Up, Danielle Paige!  I need to know just what the hell is going to happen next!!!  

I'm seriously and ridiculously hooked on this series!    

Book 25 - Silence for the Dead by Simone St. James

I don't know about you but there are certain authors I will read no matter the subject.  +Simone St. James is one of those authors.  I picked up this one and The Other Side of Midnight without reading any synopsis about them.  I know she's THAT GOOD!  She typically writes about ghosts and a strong female protagonist.  I had previously read The Haunting of Maddy Clare and An Inquiry into Love and Death so I knew I would not be disappointed by Silence for the Dead.  

Silence for the Dead takes place post World War I in Great Britain and centers around Kitty, a girl on the run from her abusive father who takes shelter pretending to be a nurse in a 'mental' hospital.  I use the term 'mental' loosely because I don't think men and women who have been to war are mental.  I think they have seen things no one can possibly imagine and they bear that burden forever.  I have seen what PTSD from war can do to a human being and it breaks my heart and pisses me off all at the same time.  Anyway...Kitty forges some information and pretends to be a nurse who worked at a casualty hospital in order to get a job working at Portis House where the only patients are 19 men who have been in the battles against Germany during World War I.  Of course when she arrives, the head nurse in charge, known as Matron, knows Kitty has lied but the hospital is so understaffed she lets Kitty stay.  There is something just not quite right about Portis House and the previous owners, the Gersbach's, just up and disappeared one night.  No one in the town saw them leave: no moving trucks, no unusual activity, nothing...just gone.  

Kitty tries to find her footing and tries to prove that she can do the job of a nurse because she has no other options.  She's been running from her father for four years, but in all honesty he was such an alcoholic and just dead beat that he never actually went looking for her.  While she's at Portis House, Kitty cannot seem to stop breaking the rules.  The rules are very much centered around keeping the 19 men calm because you never know when any loud noise could trigger a breakdown for them.  To make matters worse, the house is haunted.  OF COURSE IT IS!  Let's go and put men who have seen hell in a haunted house and hope they get better.  UGH!  Early on in her stay at Portis House, Kitty goes into the room of Patient Sixteen despite not having clearance.  I spent a good bit of the beginning story wondering just who the hell Patient Sixteen was and why he was treated so differently from everyone else.  Turns out, he is Jack Yates, Britain's golden boy of a war hero and no one wants it out that he came back broken just like the rest of them.  Think Captain America except not invincible and with some serious issues from what he has seen.  

It isn't until Kitty goes on Night Watch that she realizes the house truly is haunted.  She sees a ghost go into a stairwell at the same time a patient has a nosebleed and another has a fit in his sleep.  She and Jack eventually put the pieces together and realize the men all have the same dreams.  There's always a man with a rifle calling them a coward and they just have this gut instinct they're going to die, but they always wake up.  Turns out, Mikael Gersbach was a deserter from the military who ended up being dishonorably discharged rather than executed because he was tortured by his comrades who believed his Swiss name was actually German.  Another product of war.  These men had blinders on for anyone with a foreign last name and an accent.  His father, Nils, executed him one night after he returned home.  Nils' daughter, Anna, then shot her own father in the heart.  Well poop, thanks Anna...now you've got not one, but two ghosts roaming the house and torturing these 19 men who honestly just want a little peace and quiet.  A lot of this information is learned from the nurse whom Kitty replaced, Maisey Ravell who actually was best friends with Anna.  She's on the outside of Portis House so she begins transporting letters for Jack to the outside world.  Much like today's prisons, all mail sent out or coming in to the hospital is read.  Maisey is Jack's only way of finding out information without the hospital staff, other than Kitty, knowing.  Turns out, Maisey's father, the magistrate had the bodies of the two men cremated and helped Anna and her mother flee back to Switzerland.  When Anna's mother passes away, Anna returns to Portis House thinking her home will still be empty.  She's sighted a few times but Jack and Kitty never actually get to talk to her so they begin to wonder if she too is a ghost.  It's not until the culmination of everything unraveling that they learn she's been hiding in the cellar.  Anna herself puts the final pieces together when she reveals she shot her father.  What a whirlwind caused by an abusive, hard ass father who obviously never understood what an asshole he truly was.  He has no compassion for either of his children.  He obviously does not understand what his son went through.  Dead is never better, Nils.   

In the end, everything works out for the best.  Everyone leaves Portis House.  Four men die from influenza, some are discharged home to their families, and some are reassigned elsewhere.  And of course, Kitty and Jack fall in love through all of this and end up together.  I like the wee bit of romance that St. James throws into all of her ghost stories.  No one ever goes back to Portis House and eventually it will just crumble and decay in ruin.  

I really liked this book because I feel it was a bit different from her others.  She didn't necessarily focus on the paranormal activity in this book but rather the men themselves.  The primary paranormal activity in this house were the dreams Nils caused these men to have.  Yes there were some groaning pipes and black mold in the bathrooms, but the dreams man...the NIGHTMARES.  These men were fresh from war so of course they thought they had gone even more bat shit crazy than when they arrived.  St. James really focuses on who these men were before the war and who they are now.  You know, the main thing I saw with them is they may be broken, but they're not crazy.  They don't deserve to die.  They don't deserve to be secluded away.  And none of them needed to kill themselves.  Dead is never better.  No matter how broken their mental state or their hearts, dead is never better.  I found myself really being on Kitty's side.  I felt for her when she describes the abuse she grew up with, but she came out a strong woman.  There are moments when you want to scream in frustration because of what the hospital believes to be proper care.  When Kitty was angry, I found myself being angry for the exact same reasons.  When she wanted to scream in frustration so did I.  And when she loved Jack, so did I! :D  I just...I just LOVED this book.      

Bravo, Simone, on a job well done.  Everyone, just go buy every book this woman has ever written and read them.  RIGHT NOW!  This is one ghost story that goes so much deeper and really hit close to home for me.  God bless the men and women who serve their country.  

Book 24 - Amish Confidential by "Lebanon" Levi Stoltzfus

Okay...a few disclaimers before I dive in.  First of all, yes, Levi is on Discovery Channel's Amish Mafia and no, this book is NOT about the show.  If you pick it up for that reason, you'll be disappointed.  If you pick it up because you want to learn about the Amish and learn some secrets about them, then you've picked up a good one.  Second disclaimer...this is the only book I've EVER read about the Amish and I realize it is only one man's view point.  I take it at face value and realize there may be some who are angry with this book or think he's lying...take that up with him, not me.

ON WITH THE SHOW...UH I MEAN BOOK!  

I found this book utterly fascinating!  I've always been fascinated by the Amish as I could never understand how you could live without electricity.  I'm from the South and it's hot and humid as hell during the summer.  Thank God for air conditioning.  I could probably do without the phone because I'm a text me kind of girl and I hate holding the phone up to my ear and all bluetooth devices echo and just all around suck to me...sorry for that rant.  Anyway, I've always found them to be fascinating.  Levi provides us with a little insight into their faith and their culture.  

He begins with a little history on the origins of the Amish and Mennonite.  A little word about their similarities and their differences.  From there he provides us with some of his own personal background.  His father was killed in a tragic accident when he was young.  His mother remarried to a widower and the blended family had 15 children.  Are you shitting me?!  I know for sure now I couldn't be Amish...not that there was a likelihood before but come on...15 kids?!  And that shit is normal!  My uterus hurts just thinking about it.  Then we start getting into the good stuff...

Oh the secrets this man reveals...I wonder if anyone is truly pissed at him or if some are maybe slightly relieved it's out in the open now.  Secrets have a way of burdening you, after all.  Levi covers so many topics that you've heard about but never really knew too much about.  The first one being Rumspringa!  It's a period of time, typically between the ages of 16 to 21, where the teens basically find a group they fit in with, and they get into shenanigans.  Some are very straight laced and then some are all out wild as hell.  There are cars, drinking, parties, bands, and sometimes even drugs.  Once Rumspringa is over, you decide if you want to be baptized or not.  Levi says it was during Rumspringa that he really started to question the Old Order Amish because of the contradictions he saw.  He decided eventually to be baptized in the New Order Amish Church, thus the reason he can drive his black Cadillac and have a cell phone.  The things you learn...

He then covers topics such as Shunning...boo on that unless you just want some peace and quiet and no one to talk to you.  He also discusses the taboo topic that even normal society doesn't want to talk about...incest and bestiality.  He covers them and gives names of folks that have committed such acts.  He discusses drinking and buggying...yes a buggying under the influence does exist.  The law varies though apparently and some counties say the 'vehicle' must be motorized in order for the charge to be an under the influence charge.  He talks about drugs in the Amish community and how it actually from time to time is an issue.  The only difference is, the Amish don't publicize their shit.  They keep it under wraps which I guess is why I was surprised by some of the stuff I learned in this book, but then again should I really have been surprised?  They're human beings who face temptations every day...maybe even more so given their structured and sheltered upbringing.  He discusses Sam Mullet who ordered the shaving of men's beards and the cutting of women's hair if they went against him.  He was sentenced to 15 years for hate crimes.  

He covers something known as claping which is basically some shitty teenagers, usually non-Amish and apparently quite often Mennonites, who throw tiles and rocks at buggies, houses, and mailboxes.  Once, some kids threw a tile at a buggy and an infant was killed when it struck the baby in the head.  The family of the baby, though, was not angry.  If there's anything that can be learned from the Amish, it's forgiveness.  On that note, he goes into pretty good detail on the schoolhouse shooting where 5 girls were murdered and multiple others injured.  The gunman, who happened to be the milkman, then turned the gun on himself.  The parents of those killed and injured showed up at the house of the gunman's mother...not for vengeance but with food and forgiveness.  They knew that his family would be struggling just as much as they were.  It's amazing to me how quickly they are to forgive.  They really and literally do believe in turning the cheek.  There's a hard lesson there I think we could all stand to learn.  

Levi shares so many secrets about the Amish...some of them not dirty secrets but some of them, I'm sure, people would wish he had left covered.  In the end though I just learned that they have their problems like the rest of the nation does.  They have their 'bad apples' who commit crimes just like every other subset of the population does.  They just keep that shit under wraps and prefer to deal with it within their own community rather than airing their dirty laundry.  The Amish are fiercely hardworking individuals who sometimes can be dicks to one another.  They rely upon family to take care of them when they're old rather than the Social Security Act...and let's be honest...it's highly doubtful that even my ass will be able to rely upon social security.  They're rapidly growing in numbers and honestly they're quite financially well off.  They have acres of land that now they couldn't afford and some of them have made millions selling their land to the gas and oil companies.  They're really quite intelligent and have a head for business despite only having an 8th grade education.  They're instilled with hardworking, God first, and family values that a lot of us are lacking.  I know for sure I don't know what hard work really is just as those coming after me will have no idea.  After reading this, I really do have to say that I admire the Amish.  I may not agree with them on some things and I may scoff at some of the things I view as hypocritical, but they do kind of have their shit together on some levels.  And I'm seriously just dumbfounded by their ability to forgive.  I wish I could get some of that...

I'm so glad I read this book, and I'm even more happy that it wasn't about the television show.  I feel it was a peak behind the curtain that the Amish have kept around themselves.  It was interesting and intriguing and I couldn't put the book down.  I felt it was more honest and real than anything you may see on the show.  And, now more than ever, I wish to go to Lancaster, PA and buy a legitimate Amish quilt...if it's cheap, it's not the real deal, by the way.  Thank you, Levi, for this inside view into your culture and faith.  I might just have to read up on the Amish a bit more.        

  

Book 23 - Dorothy Must Die by Danielle Paige

Die, bitch, die!  Maybe that's harsh...

Let me back up...small confession time.  I never liked Dorothy.  Granted, I'm talking movie version because *gasp* I've never read the book.  I always found Dorothy annoying, whiny, and petulant.  If I ever watch the movie now that I'm an adult, I find myself rolling my eyes through a good majority of it.  So, you can imagine a book entitled Dorothy Must Die was totally my cup of tea.

I LOVED this book and will totally be picking up the next in the series, The Wicked Will Rise.  This book was awesome because the word fuck is said several times and Dorothy dresses like a slut.  I also need Dorothy to die.  She's a total bitch who has completely been corrupted by the appeal of magic.  I know it's supposed to be fantasy, and the language isn't all that appropriate; but teachers could use this book in English class.  There's all this irony and symbolism going on.

The story opens up with us meeting Amy...a 16 year old high school student from Flat Hill, Kansas who lives in Dusty Acres Trailer Park with her pill popping mother.  Based on the trailer park, she's called Salvation Amy at school and the kids call her trailer trash.  One popular girl in particular, Madison Pendleton, is 16 and fucking pregnant with the captain of the football team as the baby daddy but yet Amy is the trailer trash.  Hello irony within the first 5 pages...nice to meet you.  I got a huge kick out of that one.  Amy gets in a fight with Madison, in that Madison punches Amy, and because Amy isn't going to punch a pregnant bitch, she gets suspended because the principal, of course, believes the popular girl.  Ugh...fuck you Madison.  Next comes the tornado which picks Amy's trailer up and puts her ass down in Oz.  Yeah yeah yeah...similarities abound.  That's the whole point.  

Turns out Dorothy did go back to Kansas but it just wasn't anything like Oz so Glinda picked her up and took her back.  From there, Dorothy has corrupted the land and is mining all of Oz for the magic.  She's drunk on its power and she now dresses like a hooker.  The ruby slippers are more like patent leather stripper shoes and the blue gingham has been transformed into a variety of slutty dresses that show as much cleavage as possible.  Glinda is also in charge of mining the magic out of the land so now all that was good before has turned to wicked.  Dorothy's comrades are all there too.  The Lion is there but he feeds off of the fear of others.  The Tin Man is basically the sheriff in town.  The Scarecrow has become a mad scientist trying to steal brains from other people and inject it into his own brain.  He creeps me out the most with button eyes and weird ass lab experiments putting metal parts onto people.  Someone needs to go ahead and light his ass on fire for real already.

Amy, of course, ends up breaking some stupid bullshit law Dorothy made up so she's hauled before the 'princess; by the Tin Man and placed in jail until her trial a week later.  Through the help of a wicked witch she breaks out and becomes part of the Revolutionary Order of the Wicked where she is trained in battle, etiquette, and magic.  It's very difficult to determine the motivations of people in this book.  I honestly don't know if anyone is out to help Amy and everyone keeps saying they shouldn't be trusted...like literally.  The character actually says, Amy, you shouldn't trust me.  The common goal for the Wicked is to kill Dorothy...what happens if/when she's killed remains a mystery.  They believe Amy is the only one who can kill Dorothy because she comes from the "Other Place".  Through a magic spell, Amy's appearance changes to that of a maid in the palace so she can determine Dorothy's moves in order to assassinate her.  Things of course get screwed up along the way and we see Dorothy has absolutely no regard for life.  She only cares about how much magic she can get and everyone doting upon her.  Ugh...fuck you Dorothy.  She's cruel and hateful and Paige writes her in such a way that you're like yeah...she could die.

In the end though, Dorothy lives...fucking A man.  Just kill her already!  You learn the mysterious identities of people and the Wizard turns out to never have left Oz and he actually hates Dorothy too.  Turns out the key to taking down Dorothy is to first take down the entourage.  Take the Tin Man's heart, the Scarecrow's brain, and the Lion's courage...then you can kill Dorothy.  I'm very interested to see where the next book takes us.  You see Amy change and grow into someone who I think she's truly coming to understand as herself.  I also need to know if she and Nox are going to become an item or if he's just playing her because she's the key to getting rid of Dorothy.  He's hot and sometimes he seems sincere, but like I said, motivations are not so black and white.  I definitely look forward to seeing where Paige takes Amy's story.  I'm definitely now hooked.  On to the next!  

Book 22 - Do Not Disturb by A.R. Torre

Holy Shit, Deanna...I didn't think you'd actually do it!  I'll tell you all about...like for real...hardcore spoiler alerts.  I reveal the ending!  You can't say you weren't warned.    

So in Do Not Disturb, we find ourselves meeting up with Deanna aka Jessica Reilly, cam girl/murderess from The Girl in 6E.  Don't worry kids...she's still batshit crazy and wants to murder people.  We pick up where we left off with her going on a date with Jeremy, the UPS guy who is apparently holy shit hot.  She's trying to find a new definition of normal for herself by actually *gasp* leaving her apartment.  She goes on a couple of dates with Jeremy and even takes a couple of strolls by herself to the convenience store across the street from her shitty apartment to buy Dr. Pepper and lottery tickets.  Of course, while she's out, she imagines stabbing every fucking person she sees.  Of course though, she's still doing her cam thing which leads to the whole new premise for this book.  

Enter Marcus Renza, a rich short little shit of a man who made his wealth on real estate deals, and who just got released from prison into house arrest for brutally sexually assaulting a woman.  She was just one in a long line of women that he liked to tie up, abuse, and sexually assault...like holy shit he's fucked up.  It finally came to a head though when one of them remembered him and went to the police...damn those drugs for not doing their job.  Bad thing was, when he went to prison, he just learned from fellow inmates how to do a better job next time.  Since he's under house arrest though, he has no option but to find a woman online...which leads him to Deanna.  She doesn't submit to him which drives him fucking crazy.  He makes offers to pay her for real, live, in person sex so she blocks his ass.  When he continues to try and contact her through her personal website, he gets blocked from that too.  And cue the RAGE!  Being the wealthy asshole he is, he has a hacker of his own who finds an address that is supposed to be Deanna's.  Lucky for her, or maybe him, it's not Deanna's legit address, but rather it's Mike's...her hacker hero who keeps her identity buried behind cyber walls.  Cue the panic attack on my behalf because I actually like Mike and I knew this fucker would be bad news.  And I wasn't wrong.  He tortures Mike until he spills the beans on Deanna's true identity but also in the process gives up Jeremy.  He leaves Mike tied up to the bed, with a knife in his shoulder blade and duct tape over his mouth.  

Now would be a good time to take a left turn to Mike's life.  We learn that Mike is in a wheelchair and has a girl named Jamie stop by and help him out a couple of days a week with some housework and such, and also for the occasional blow job.  I liked that we got to learn a bit more about him.  It honestly just made me like him even more.  But yeah...Mike gives her up but he tries to warn her.  Eventually Deanna figures it out so she goes shopping for supplies for killing someone and lies in wait for Marcus to show up.  I kept hoping she would do the right thing.  Simply incapacitate him and call the cops...but no...she's not fucking normal enough for that shit.  She had to go and stab his ass multiple times and then dispose of the body.  For fucks sake girl...

I'm not sure if I was disappointed in her or not.  I guess I'm just honestly not surprised that she killed him, after all, she's killed two other people now.  I don't know...I think part of me was hoping she wouldn't, but I guess you can't have a good book that way.  And I guess it's a little vigilante of her...only killing those who deserve to be killed...if anyone deserves to be killed?  I don't know...that's a fine line into political correctness and personal views that I honestly don't give two shits about diving into.  But I mean, she killed her mother who murdered her family...she killed Ralph who was a pedophile, and now she's killed Marcus who was an abusive rapist.  Maybe she's doing the world a favor?  

While she's torturing and ultimately killing Marcus, Jeremy has been tied up and a bomb placed in his oven.  Mike tracks Jeremy's credit cards and self phone activity, or lack thereof, and alerts Deanna that something is wrong.  By the time she gets there, though it's too late...the house explodes!!  Dun Dun Dunnnnnn....

Don't worry...Jeremy lives!  And he gets to fuck Deanna!  Woot Woot for him! One can only wonder just what the fuck will happen to her next.  Will she get caught for killing Marcus?  Will she even tell Jeremy what really happened?  Will he still love her?  Will she one day kill Jeremy?  Guess we'll just have to wait and see.  

I think I liked the first book better.  Sure I liked the expanding character profiles, but I think the first one was just more educational.  This one is just as fast paced as the first one with the different points of view speeding things right along.  I don't know...she's fucking crazy and I'm going to stay on this roller coaster because I'm hooked and need to know what's going to ultimately happen with her/to her.    

Book 21 - Second Grave on the Left by Darynda Jones

Okay...so I fucked myself over with this book.  I did a very bad thing and read the blurb on the back of book 3...BAD IDEA!  It completely gave away how book 2 (this one) ends!  Ugh...face meet palm!  I'm so mad at myself.  Knowing how it's going to end for the major plot line made it incredibly difficult for me to finish it.  With that being said though, I'm going to try and give the best objective review I can give...

I liked this book because it starts the unraveling process of the characters...not like they have a meltdown but rather more is revealed about them.  Charley's assistant, Cookie, has a larger role in this one because her friend goes missing so we get to learn a bit more about Cookie.  While Charley is trying to help Cookie find Mimi (the missing friend), she's also having to deal with Reyes wanting to kill his corporeal body and just chill out all incorporeal-like and all.  Now...maybe that doesn't sound like such a bad idea considering these ole human bodies of ours aren't exactly invincible.  The bad thing though...no one knows what will happen if he does that.  Charley spends a good chunk of this book in a battle with Reyes for him to tell her where his body is because she wants to save him.  She's selfish and in love and doesn't want to find out the hard way what may happen to him if he lets his body die.  And honestly, I can't say I blame her.  

Charley also learns some things about herself and her abilities.  Like the fact that she can summon Reyes, move with inhuman speed, get stabbed in the chest and live, get stabbed in the back and live, oh and light up and vanquish hundreds of demons from hell.  The girl's got some pretty cool gifts going on.  

I, for one, couldn't really have given a shit about the plot line of finding Mimi.  A drunken gang bang/rape got out of hand, a girl was killed, 2 people saw some shit they shouldn't have, one of whom is running for the Senate, and his mom wants to make everything better.  Eh...the congressman's mother is psychotic and wanted to get rid of witnesses...moving on.  Read the book for the full details!  I was more interested in finding out about yummy Reyes.  I wanted them to find a solution that worked for both of them that didn't end with demons being released upon the earth or with him having to kill her so the demons couldn't get into heaven.  Damn those pesky demons.  

We also learn that Reyes has a fucking fan club...clubs actually...plural!  This one woman, to me, was just extremely pathetic in trying to find out information about a man in prison simply because he's drop dead gorgeous.  She was paying off guards and people to find out information about him.  I can say though, he may be the son of Satan, but Reyes cares about his friends, specifically Amador.  He tells Amador to have his wife feed this pathetic woman information and pictures about him so they can invest the money to make a future for themselves once Amador has been released from prison.  He even tells him which stocks to invest in and they're able to take $1000 and turn it into millions.  Say whattt???  Can you be my friend, Reyes??  I could go for just 1 million...I don't need more than that.  (Side note and way off topic. Impact Wrestling is on my television right now...in the background...I haven't looked at the television since I got off from work.  And it appears as though they're trying to make a bit of soft core porn out of it...3 scantily clad wrestler chicks sitting on a bed type deal like they're having a 'slumber' party.  They really know their audience. Anyway...side note over.)  

So yeah...Charley eventually finds his body and rather than risk potentially losing him forever she BINDS him!  And now he has to go back to prison and he has denied her from seeing him!!  Ass!  But...understandable.  He knows they're both vulnerable if he can't leave his body.  He has proven time and again that he doesn't need his corporeal body to save her life.  I understand her too though...why risk losing the man you love when you know there's a way you can keep him.  I'm interested to see where this relationship goes from here...if it goes anywhere.  The way we left off in this one, it makes me a bit nervous for their future.  And it makes me a bit nervous that Charley will need him to save her hide but he won't be able to do his thing because he can't leave his body.  Hope Charley finds more awesome Grim Reaper powers to help get her ass out of hot water.  

And...who the fuck is Mistress Marigold and why is she looking for the Grim Reaper???  I feel like that's not someone I'd be seeking out!   

Book 20 - First Grave on the Right by Darynda Jones

Oh Charley Davidson...can we PLEASE be best friends??

I love this cover...mainly because I WANT THOSE SHOES!   

So...I stumbled upon this series when I noticed Seventh Grave and No Body in the New Mystery section at Barnes and Noble...so of course I had to see what the beginning was about.  I was not disappointed and have found a new favorite series.  +Darynda Jones writes in such an entertaining way.  I found this book hilarious at times, sad at other times, and let's be honest...the supernatural sex is hot.  Like...can I please get one of those orgasms???  More on that later though...

Charlotte (Charley) Davidson is a private investigator...she's also THE Grim Reaper.  She works with her police detective Uncle, Bob and before him, she used her abilities to help her father.  She hasn't always had an easy go of things though.  Her mother passed during childbirth and was actually the first soul that ever crossed to the other side through her...that white light you hear about...it's actually Charley herself.  Interesting twist if I do say so myself.   Anyway, a year after her mother's death, her father remarried to Denise...a bitch who doesn't believe Charley's gift even though she's proven herself time and again.  She has never treated Charley like a daughter, but rather reserves that relationship for Charley's sister Gemma.  Honestly, not a big fan of Gemma or Denise and I'm honestly glad that had minor roles in this first book...well with the exception of Denise who was almost killed by The Big Bad aka Reyes aka Son of Satan who has been following Charley since she was born.  

Reyes has always been there when Charley was in trouble and now he visits her every night for steamy supernatural, mind-blowing play time.  If you can't deal with supernatural sex, then don't read this series.  There are multiple plot lines going on in this one.  A dead lawyer shows up in Charley's apartment and it turns out both of his partners are dead too so she works with her Uncle Bob to try and solve the case.  Not only so a murderer can be put away, but so the spirits of the three lawyers can find rest and cross over.  So, while Charley is trying to find and put away a murderer, she's also trying to figure out who Reyes is.  

I've spoiled the secrets here because I've told you who Reyes is but there's so much more detail that you really need to read it to see how all of it comes out.  It's such a fun and entertaining book.  I'm so ready to start on number 2.  I really want to see what else Charley is going to get herself into and I really want to see where this whole Reyes/Charley thing is going to go.  After all, he gave her an orgasm in which she saw his creation and birth out of Hell onto Earth and his seeing her for the first time as the bright, shining light she appears to be to all who are not alive...or human for that matter.  And we know if she's found by anything else from the underworld, he'll have to kill her.  I really don't want him to have to kill her...  

You also need to pick it up and read it so you see what happens with the lawyers and why they were killed.  Let's just say, it involves human trafficking!  SCANDAL! 

This one reminds me a lot of how I feel when I read Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series.  I laugh, I shake my head at the absurdity of the hijinks that occur, and I drool over the men.  This book was fast paced and I kept turning the pages because I wanted to see where each plot was going to lead.  And I'm so glad there's a series because I was left with a cliffhanger!  And we all know how I feel about not getting my closure!  

ON TO THE NEXT ONE!     

Book 19 - Beautiful Disaster by Jamie McGuire

Let me say now...I take Travis' side.  I'm just sayin...

There's a line (and actually a lot more than one line) from Kenny Chesney's song Come Over that pretty much, kind of perfectly, sums this book up: "Forget about your friends. You know they're gonna say we're bad for each other, but we ain't good for anyone else." Except, instead of their friends constantly telling them this, they keep whispering it to themselves.  At least Abby sure as shit does.  She lets her girl brain take over and there are so many insecurities.  I actually don't blame Travis for a lot of things that happen on the roller coaster ride that is their relationship...sometimes relationshit.  She makes a lot of this shit happen.  Get out of your girl brain and just love this man.  They both are far better when they're with each other than when they're apart because for whatever reason they let the past ghosts interfere.  Abby keeps taking the mistakes of her father out on Travis, and honestly it's not fair.  Abby, I feel, puts him through a lot of unnecessary emotional bullshit and trauma, mostly because she's a fucking girl and apparently it's what we all do.  For instance, she was ready to just end their mutual misery at Thanksgiving but instead she drags this bullshit on for about 4 more fucking months...uh really bitch?  I would have dropped her ass way before then but Travis is legitimately in love with her.  Sure...he fucks up from time to time and has a hard way of showing sometimes just how much he deeply feels, but I honestly don't feel like he was the one who initiated the head and heart games.  I feel Abby was primarily responsible for why it took so long for them to finally end up together.  Hell, she even admits to it.  

As if you couldn't tell from the previous rant...I obviously find favor with Travis.  Travis is your all American bad boy.  He drives a Harley, has rock hard six pack abs, arms well honed from fighting (think UFC only in a college building basement), tattoos up and down his arms (shiver and swoon)...he's a panty dropper.  I was bound to love him and take his side in most everything.  He's never loved a woman other than his mother who he doesn't even remember much since she passed when he was so young, and now he's stumbled upon Abby, who steals his heart regardless of whether she wants it or not.  They have ups and downs as all couples do but to me she takes it too far.  She's always up and leaving...she seriously needs to work on her communication skills.  I could clearly see that he would do anything and everything she wanted to do, all she had to do was say it but she couldn't do it.  She kept letting past demons and problems get in the way.

I'm not saying Travis was always in the right, but given how crazy Abby was acting...I kinda feel he wasn't always in the wrong and that a lot of his behavior was justifiable considering she was just stringing him along.  I'm not her biggest fan in all honesty and I'm still not completely convinced that she deserves him...but they're no good being with other people.  They're miserable when they're apart and make everyone else around them miserable.  I don't know how America and Shep were able to stand it for so long.  I believe I would have had to walk away from their friendships.  Of course, I have an incredibly low tolerance for bullshit and I don't deal with crazy.  I will walk away from you.  Self preservation I suppose.

In the end though, they get their happy ending...they're married and all that jazz...but they're still in college and I have a feeling there are still battles ahead.  With all of the conflict they had throughout the book...all the fights...all the off and on...all the toying with the emotions, I was emotionally fucking relieved when they finally got it together.  I could finally quit yelling at the book and rolling my eyes and sighing heavily and just kind of being generally disgusted with them not being able to get their shit together.

If you're looking for a fast paced little romance story that isn't all sex but has actual plot...and you need a new fictional boyfriend, then go ahead and read this guy.  And the next few after it.  I'll read them all because I want to see what happens from here.  I'll root for them...mostly because I want Travis to be happy...I still just can't shake the feeling of not being Abby's biggest fan...maybe it's jealousy over fictional characters...      

Book 18 - The Quick by Lauren Owen

So here's something you should know about me...I love all things Victorian Era...specifically Victorian London.  I think it's because I have a slight interest/obsession with all things Jack the Ripper...yeah...I'm weird.  I tell you that because there's not much on the back of this book to tell you what the story is about but the first words are "LONDON, 1892:".  Well hello Victorian London.  All I know from the back is that we're in London and James Norbury has disappeared and his sister, Charlotte, leaves her home in Yorkshire to go find him.  We all know, based on many previous posts, that I'm an avid mystery fan.  So, Victorian London plus a good mystery equals a book after my own heart.  It was then I read one of the reviews on the front and back covers that I also realized there were vampires involved.  Yep...you guessed it...I'm a vampire fan.  Anyway, this book seemed like a fitting choice for my tastes so I picked it up without further thought.  On to the review!  HUGE spoiler alerts by the way, in that I'll tell you what happened, including the ending, because it pissed me off that I have no closure and this book make me unexpectedly cry at the end.  

This book has 5 parts and at times can seem a bit choppy because it's broken down in these 5 parts.  You have to mentally switch gears because Part 2 starts off and I was going who the fuck are these people?  What the hell is going on?  I'm so confused!  You just have to stick with it!  I promise, it all starts to come together.  I don't remember what happened in each part, I just remember the first 2 seemed to have nothing to do with one another until I got to Part 3...then it all clicked into place.

Part 1 introduces you to James and Charlotte growing up in a mansion in Yorkshire and then their father dies so all of the money and property are left to James but he's still a child.  Upon the death of their father, Charlotte goes to live nearby with Mrs. Chickering and James goes off to basically a boarding school and then on to Oxford.  Of course, there's a lot more detail as the author is setting up some details that at the time I was like why do we need to know this but comes into play later.  Again...I found myself just biding my time to see how all of this was going to come together.  Okay...cut to James just graduating Oxford and he decides to stay in London rather than returning home.  He ultimately ends up rooming with Christopher Paige, a fellow Oxford graduate that James knows but not really in that he saw him making out with a woman in the library stacks and now they meet again.  James wants to be a writer and Christopher stays out until all times of night/morning partying and living up the bachelor life and they eventually become friends.  Then they eventually become more than friends and I DID NOT SEE THAT SHIT COMING.  I'm not homophobic but I seriously had to flip back a few pages because I didn't see it coming.  I felt it came completely out of nowhere and I honestly feel like there was never anything to suggest an underlying sexual tension or interest for either of them.  Maybe you'll read it different but I was floored for a minute.  So...yay they're happy with one another but Christopher's older brother somehow knows what the deal is (you find out later it's because he can read minds because he's a...*gasp*...VAMPIRE) and he doesn't like it one bit.  Tells James to pack his shit and go so of course Christopher and James decide they'll run away together.  The night before they're set to leave they're attacked and the part fucking abruptly ends...a cliffhanger already dude?  Seriously?

Then we get to Part 2 which introduces you to journal writings by Augustus Mould and I was like what the fuck is going on here?  Who is this kid?  Who are Michael and Edmund?  WHAT THE MONKEY?!  Basically there's a secret club, the Aegolius club, which is a secret society of male vampires...no women allowed...of course not...it's Victorian London.  Edmund is a vampy who knew A. Mould before his "Exchange" took place.  So...after he's a vampire, he seeks Mould out because he wants Mould, a researcher, to figure out all he can about the vampiric condition.  From here, it's a lot of blah blah blah and figuring out how to not only overthrow the Aegolius leader so Edmund can rule, but also how to capture poor, unfortunate vampires in order to test theories and weapons and traps and other such nonsense on them.  Eventually, Edmund does become the leader and Mould develops the nickname of Dr, Knife but the poor, unfortunate vampires called the Alia.  It's also during this time we learn that Christopher was killed in the attack but James has been transformed, against his will, into a vampire.  It was previously thoughts, based on a bad translation of Latin, that consent must be made in order for the Exchange to occur successfully.  Michael's (Edmund's psychotic brother) exchanging with a non-consenting James has now proven otherwise.  James and a human who helps him, Arthur Howland, escape the Aegolius club.

Now we cut to Mrs. Chickering dying and James not responding to the telegraphs Charlotte sent so she hops on a train and comes to London is search of her brother.  She goes to his home and finds him being all weird and vampy...he bites her...they both freak out...she runs away.  There's other stuff but that's the gist.  While she's busy running through the streets of London with her luggage in tow, she's grabbed by a vampire but woot woot the day is saved by Shadwell and Adeline...vampire hunters of the time, if you would.  When they get back to the bookstore owned by Shadwell and Adeline, Howland is passed out on the curb in front of their shop.  Everyone goes inside and tells their respective stories.

Meanwhile, you're being told about the Alia when all you really truly need to know is Mrs. Price is the leader of them and her errand vampire child is Liza.  You probably also need to know there's a Mr. Burke who was a vampire, killed his partner, felt the guilt every day so he cut off his arms and legs so he couldn't stalk his prey.  Somehow he's cool with all sides so he knows what's up with the Alia, what's going on the Aegolius club, and Shadwell and Adeline use him for information as well.  Shadwell and Adeline want to get Charlotte and Howland out of London.  You also learn in a side note than Edmund and Mould have captured James and are holding his ass in a silver lined coffin.  Around this time too, Mr. Burke is murdered by Shadwell, but he tells Liza it was Dr. Knife and now we can get a war going on between the Alia and the Aegolius club.

Remember Michael?  Edmund's psychotic vampire brother who killed Christopher and turned James?  Well he opens up the silver lined coffin James is in and taunts his ass with silver spikes...kind of like knitting needles...and in a last act of self preservation the incredibly weak James kills his ass.  Well of course Edmund isn't happy even though his brother was psychotic so they chain James up with silver and beat him and torture and blah blah blah.  Lucky for him, the Alia are coming to the club and Liza sneaks in so she and the other little vampire children can set fire to the building.  She knows James from a previous incident (not that important) and removes the silver from him.  At the same time, Charlotte and Howland are trying to infiltrate and they're alone because Shadwell and Adeline have been murdered because of Mr. Burke.  Chaos ensues!

Turns out Christopher's brother helps Charlotte, Howland, and James get out.  Liza gets out.  Edmund and Mould get out.  Maybe a couple of unimportant vampires.  Edmund turns Mould into a vampire...fucking finally...it's all this little man has been waiting on for like ever.  Liza goes off and remains a child vampire forever...I just kept thinking about Kirsten Dunst's character in Interview with the Vampire.  Charlotte, Howland, and James get out of London where she drops Howland off at the doctor because he was grazed by a bullet during the skirmish (he ends up losing a leg.)  James...well...James...she puts him in a secret closet behind the bookcase room of the library, bleeds him as if he really had any blood left in him, and nails his feet to the floor.  Apparently he doesn't even really know all of this is going on (she learned it from a book Shadwell and Adeline wrote).  Charlotte and Howland go on to get married and travel the world looking for a cure but they never find one and she can't return to her brother.  Cut to the very end in which I cried like a little baby because Charlotte has dementia, sometimes calls her husband James instead of Arthur, and is all around cantankerous from time to time.  He's taking her home to England to die but she dies on the boat trip across.  He sees to her burial and now all of the property is left to him.  He goes to check on James and what do you know...MOTHERFUCKER ISN'T THERE!

Fuck you cliffhanger.  I can't even say with any certainty that there will be a sequel.  I think we all just may have been fucked over and left not knowing how the fuck he got out or what's up with him.  I felt sometimes the author got a bit wordy and that in some instances we didn't need to know as much detail as she put in.  Overall it was a good book.  I liked her take on vampires being creatures that were so much more zombie like that most other portrayals of them.  It's like with their exchange, their human gene just died and they became incapable of caring about anything other than self preservation.  It was refreshing to see them NOT romanticized.  I also think Mould was psychotic as well.  He reminds me of a mad scientist with crazy hair doing anything and everything in the name of research no matter who he hurts, maims, or kills.  I wonder if that was really how he was or if it was maybe a bit of influence from Edmund that also brought it about.

Lots of interwoven plot lines and this book skips around a bit, but Owen does tie it all in together.  Be aware though, you may need a flow chart to keep up if you don't like jumping plot lines.  Certain parts of the book dragged and certain parts flew by and I wanted to go back to what was going on with that character, but you find you eventually end up back with them in this roundabout interwoven way.  All in all, a good book and I would buy the sequel if there is one because I'm not big on cliffhangers.  I feel a part of me has been left behind in that book just hanging out waiting to know what's going to happen next.  If your interests are like mine, go read it for yourself.  You can see for yourself all the details I left out...I couldn't tell you EVERYTHING now could I?