Book 12 - Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard

Sooo...loved this book.  Really heavy issues that can be related back to our present day society.  But...I'm not so sure I like the main character, Mare Barrow.  There's just something about her...she's a little too naive to me but wants to act like she's nobody's fool...but she gets played.  I don't know...maybe my feelings will change when I read the second book.  

In the world of Mare Barrow, there are two kinds of people, divided by the color of their blood...those who bleed Red, and those who bleed Silver.  Those who are Silver have unique abilities depending upon their family and it is typically the father's ability that is passed on to offspring.  The Samos family have the ability to control metal, the Jacos family has the ability to control fire, the Osanos family controls water, and so on and so forth.  If it's an element, it can be controlled by some Silver family.  And even worse is the Queen who is what is known as a whisper...she has the ability to read minds and manipulate them to make anyone her puppet.  Now THAT is FUCKING TERRIFYING!  And...she's the Queen...so you know she's used that shit.  Plus...we all hate her...but I've gotten ahead of myself here.  So the Silvers are the aristocracy and basically their shit doesn't stink.  Then you have the Reds.  They are treated poorly, typically they are servants, and even their electricity is rationed, if they're fortunate enough to have a home with electricity.  The Reds are also the soldiers that are fighting a war started by the Silvers and basically, no one remembers why there is even a war still going on...it's been over 100 years now.  The Red soldiers are on the front line and still they get no respect from the Silvers. 

Mare Barrow is Red born, her younger sister Gisa has talent with silk, needle, and thread, and her three brothers have been conscripted to war...a path she herself will soon take since she has no apprenticeship or job.  Her sister Gisa will be safe but the rest are doomed for war.  She thought her best friend, Kilorn, would be safe from the war that killed his father since he had a job, but when his boss dies, even Kilorn is doomed to go to war.  Mare vows she will find a way to save them from the war.  She goes to see a man named Will about smuggling them out of the area so they won't be found when the legionnaire comes to gather them up but he instead introduces her to a woman named Farley.  Farley wants 1000 bucks to smuggle them and Mare seeks out to obtain the money the only way she knows how...pickpocketing.  Unfortunately she picks the wrong pocket...or maybe it's the right pocket.  I honestly think it's the right pocket, but you can judge for yourself.  She happens to pick the pocket of the Prince, Cal, only she doesn't realize he's the prince and he doesn't tell her.  He instead gives her money and walks her home.  The next day, a maid from the palace shows up with Sentinels (guards) to take Mare to the palace as she has been given a job. She arrives at the palace and begins going through the motions of being a servant when the day arrives for the princes to meet their potential princesses.  It's a big ta-do in a huge area where every Silver House shows up in their finest clothes and blah blah blah.  Since only the strongest of the princesses can marry the princes, Cal (to be king) and his half brother Maven, they must provide a demonstration of their abilities.  In order to do so safely, an electrified net is placed between the show and the people...think Gladiator style arena.  Well one princess, already chosen to wed Cal, is Evangeline Samos and she is a magnetron...that's right...she controls metal (nice work if you thought of Magneto from X-Men).  She tries to be smart and starts fucking with the rebar in the concrete box that one of the houses is sitting in...she's trying to pull the box from the rest of the structure.  Mare happens to be serving the family at the time, and since she isn't seated in a cushy seat and has anything to grab on to, she begins falling toward the edge and then out of the box completely.  She is sure she is going to die but as she lands upon the electrified net she finds she does not die.  Sure...it burns all of her clothes off so I'm sure naked in an arena full of people is awkward, but she actually feels ALIVE.  The electricity courses through her, and for the first time in her 18 long years, she finally feels alive.  But wait...she's Red!  Red's don't have power...wellllllllll she just proved you wrong.  Now what are they to do with a Red girl with power to not only control electricity but to create it?  They can't kill her...millions of Silvers saw her...they would notice her missing.  Maybe they can use her...oh here we go...let's link her up with Maven!  So we'll have Cal and Evangeline get married and take the crown, and we'll have Mare and Maven get married and be the prince and princess forever.  

So...they change her name to Mareena and make up some story that she is the long lost daughter of this decorated Silver general who was raised Red when her parents were killed in battle and just that day discovered who she really was.  Changing a name doesn't change the person.  Dressing her up like Silver doesn't change the fact that she bleeds Red...but alright...we'll play your game.  Problem is, Mare is involved in a deadly game and she has no idea the rules or really the players.  

Side note about our princes.  Cal is the son of King Tiberias and his first wife.  She is said to have been a good woman and devoted mother; however, she was murdered.  Can you guess by whom?  Maven is the son of King Tiberias and his second wife/queen murderer.  I will say this now and keep it in mind...he is his mother's Son.  And Cal is his mother's son.  Can you tell which one I would trust more?  However, Mare is not me, nor I her.  

Once she has been inducted into the role of Mareena, the Silver daughter who can control lightning, she is contacted by Farley again.  Throughout all of this, we learn there exists the Scarlet Guard and they are rebelling against the Silvers.  Farley is the leader of the rebellion and she wants Mare to join.  Mare could potentially be an influential position to help the rebellion and she agrees.  She wants a cause and she wants change...change for the better for the Reds.  However, she's not alone in joining the rebellion...Maven too, it seems, has joined the cause.  Thinking she's found an ally, Mare begins to trust Maven and begins to see Cal as the enemy.  She should have listened to her initial instincts about the brothers.  She should have kept Maven at a distance.  I told you he is his mother's son.  

Through many ups and downs, and a lot of shed blood, both Red and Silver, things do not end well.  The tables are turned by Maven and his bitch of a mother.  Cal becomes hunted because he killed his father...not of his own free will but by the will of his step mother.  She turned him into her puppet.  Now Cal and Mare are on the run from Maven who has now assumed the throne.  However, the rebellion is not crushed.  And Mare learns a valuable lesson from her teacher...there are others like her.  Red AND Silver...and stronger than both.  

Now that Maven is king and Cal has been forced to join the rebellion, I can't wait to see where things go from here.  I'm hoping Mare has grown up a bit and has learned to trust her first instinct.  She instinctually liked Cal from the moment she tried to pick his pocket but she let others influence her.  I hope she listens to her gut a little more and I hope she learns to trust Cal.  Cal may have his faults but I think he's just torn between two worlds...trying to keep the kingdom from falling completely apart.  I think in his perfect world all would be equal and Mare would be his Red Queen...but wouldn't we all be equal in a perfect world?  

I highly recommend this book...so many parallels between the Red/Silver world and our own.  I don't think I'm really rooting for one side or the other but more I'm hoping for a peaceful balance...but I'm sure that's too Utopian of an idea...

Book 11 - My Best Friend's Exorcism by Grady Hendrix

I was browsing the shelves of New Fiction in my local Barnes and Noble store when I stumbled upon this interesting cover.  I mean...it's like a yearbook...who doesn't love yearbooks?!  And then I read the title...I mean hellooooo...everything about this book says READ ME...so I did!  I seriously flew through this book.  Once I sat down and really started reading it, I was drawn in.  The first few pages were a little dreary because it was background on the two main characters, Abby and Gretchen.  They met when they were children and Abby had a birthday party at the local skating rink.  She invited all of the kids in the classroom, including new transfer student Gretchen, but then Margaret Middleton with her rich ass self invited the whole class to her horse farm...on the same day as Abby's birthday party.  Bitch.  Gretchen was the only one who showed up to Abby's party and though rough for the first hour (because Gretchen's mother made her give Abby a children's Bible as a present), the girls eventually came around to one another and have been best friends ever since.  

Cut to 10ish years later and the girls are roughly 16.  They're popular, they're inseparable, and they're weirdly good friends with Margaret...yes the same rich bitch who ruined Abby's birthday party.  Isn't it funny how time changes people and situations?!  Completing their clique is Glee, a genius girl who you wouldn't think would fit in with them but somehow she just rounds out the group.  

One night, the four girls are at Margaret's lake cabin when they drop acid but hours later still don't feel anything...so to excite the night they decide to go skinny dipping.  Gretchen takes off running for the pier, stripping as she goes, when they yell at her not to jump because the tide is out but Gretchen goes off into the water anyway.  It's pitch black dark out and they can't see her.  They start yelling her name and Glee thinks she sees her a ways down the bank walking into the woods.  Abby goes and grabs Gretchen's clothes and goes into the woods to find her.  She emerges where they saw Gretchen go into the woods and she begins trying to track where Gretchen would have gone.  She arrives at a little clearing with an old run down shack with graffiti all over it and she swears she sees something black standing inside of it.  While she's staring at the figure in the window, she hears a man's voice say "Abby" and she takes off running back toward the direction of the house, sure that someone will reach out and grab her at any moment.  She gets back to the cabin, but there's still no sign of Gretchen.  She grabs a flashlight and after psyching herself up, she returns to the woods to look for Gretchen.  It won't be long before dawn is here so she feels a little more comfortable with going into the woods.  She finds Gretchen walking toward the house, naked except for her shoes, dirty, freezing, and when Gretchen sees her she breaks down crying.  They get back to the lake house and leave but something isn't right with Gretchen.  She's spaced out and can't seem to figure out exactly what she's doing.  

Within the next few weeks, Gretchen isn't herself.  She looks a mess, she keeps wearing the same clothes, she smells bad, her breath is rotten.  Abby knows something happened in the woods but Gretchen won't tell her what.  Through a series of events, and Gretchen's admissions of some of the things currently happening to her, Abby surmises that Gretchen was raped in the woods and she keeps having flashbacks, reliving the night and she's hurting herself as a coping mechanism.  I'm sure at this point you know she's been possessed.  Abby goes back to the shack in the woods and sees the name of a band spray painted on the building.  The same band that Margaret's boyfriend, Wallace, was recently in.  And Wallace has had some beef with Gretchen now that she's all possessed and junk.  Abby believes now that Wallace has raped Gretchen.  When she tries to talk to Glee about, she does the typical mean girl three way call routine and has Margaret on the line.  Of course Margaret flips her shit and tells Abby to fuck off and never come around them again.  Wouldn't you know it though, the next day Gretchen shows up to school practically glowing.  She's got on new clothes, her hair is polished and shiny, and her make up is done impeccably well.  It's as if nothing ever happened and she's had some sort of post puberty makeover.  This new and improved possessed Gretchen begins fucking around with people.  She starts flirting with Wallace, she gives love letters to Glee who thinks they're from a teacher she has a crush on, and she gives Margaret these shakes that are supposed to help her lose weight.  She also further pushes Abby away with her nonsense.  

During all of this angst and turmoil, an assembly is had at school...they go to a Christian academy so every month they have some sort of assembly about God.  This month it's the Lemon Brothers Fitness show...they're body builders who lift logs and stuff and spread the message of God.  I've seen something similar to this at my old church and it's actually quite fascinating.  One of the brothers, Christian, happens to be talking about demons that affect us...sloth, greed, pride, etc.  But he happens to point to Gretchen and tells her he sees the demon that is weighing her down.  Abby is immediately intrigued and goes to find him after the assembly.  He tells her yes he has the power of discernment and can tell she is possessed.  Abby takes a pamphlet with their information but they have to leave before she can really talk to him about it.  

A few more weeks pass and things continue to get worse for the people around Gretchen.  Abby finally makes up her mind to talk to Christian again after attempts to speak with any other adult fail.  She's not just trying to save Gretchen's life at this point but her own as well.  Gretchen is doing everything she can to get Abby kicked out of school and ruin her life...or at least ruin it in terms of how a 16 year old would feel her life has been ruined.  Abby meets up with Christian at the food court and they decide that based upon the evidence, Gretchen is indeed possessed.  Christian tells her when she's ready to do something about it, let him know.  

Abby finally decides something needs to be done before Gretchen kills someone, because of some shit that pops off with Glee and Margaret, and she calls Christian.  They devise a plan to drug Gretchen, take her somewhere, and perform an exorcism.  Well things don't go so smoothly...of course not...they never do.  But eventually they get her somewhere and begin performing the exorcism.  Well Christian isn't a priest...while he may be a man of God who has seen deliverance services before...he's not an exorcist.  The struggle is real.  It's a cluster fuck of an exorcism and eventually he flees with his tail between his legs, leaving Abby alone with a possessed Gretchen.  

So...is Abby able to exorcise the demon?  Does Gretchen die during the process?  Do they get their happily ever after?  Do they remain besties?  What happened with Glee and Margaret?  Well...I'm not gonna tell you.  You'll just have to read the book and find out for yourself.  If you like 80's music, demonic possession, teen angst, and Charleston, South Carolina, you'll like this book.  It's a quick read and it's actually really quite good.  I enjoyed it but again, I'm weird and my literature choices are as varying as my musical choices.  

Happy Reading!        

Book 10 - Three Dark Crowns by Kendare Blake

WHY OH WHY do I start a brand new series when I know I'm going to have to wait FOREVER...okay, realistically a year...for the next one to come out??!!  I'm ready for the next one in this series right this minute...give it to me...NOW!  Okay...now that I've said that, let me tell you a little bit about this book.  I can't give too much away though because...PLOT TWIST!   Oh how exciting! I LOVED this book!  

You know, let me just take a second here to say that there are some exceptional young adult books out there.  Like this one.  But for real though, I find myself reading more "Teen Fiction/Teen Fantasy and Adventure" than I do normal Fiction.  Anyway...

This little gem of a book takes place on an island named Fennbirn that is separated from pretty much the rest of the world.  There are a select few on the 'mainland' that know of this island and the people who inhabit it, but it's a very small few.  On this island, there are triplet daughters born to the queen and her king-consort.  As soon as the triplets are born, the queen and her man peace out to somewhere else, the triplets are split up between the three different regions of this island, and raised up there by foster families.  In Wolf Spring, there are naturalists.  They make shit grow, have animal familiars, and like to hunt.  Arsinoe calls Wolf Spring her home.  Then there's Rolanth, home of the elementals.  They control earth, wind, fire, water, and all of that cool shit.  Mirabella calls Rolanth home.  Then there's Greavesdrake Manor, home of the poisoners.  Not only do they poison other people but they consume poison and most are pretty immune to it.  Katharine is the poisoner queen.  Now that you know the triplets...on to their issues.

Katharine's biggest issue is she's deathly ill because she's not immune to the poisons even after years of ingesting it.  She's a bit more able to deal with it now than she used to be, but basically she's not a very good poisoner and the people fear she will fail as a queen.  She's not the only one with this seemingly 'giftless' problem.  Arsinoe can't bloom a flower to save her life.  She has no naturalist power whatsoever, and despite calling it every day, she still does not have a familiar.  Her people fear she will fail as a queen.  Mirabella, however, seems to be fairly strong in her power in controlling the elements, just don't make her do too much with water...

The point of all of this is that there can only be one queen.  One queen has to kill her sisters in order to gain the crown to rule the land of Fennbirn.  Well things aren't looking too good for Katharine and Arsinoe, so the Temple, priestesses who are supposed to be neutral, are backing Mirabella.  Mirabella is the only one who seems to have any gift so obviously the Goddess has chosen her to be the queen.  Eh...Mirabella is a softy who still has memories of her sisters from when they were children...before they were taught that they hated each other and would one day kill one another until only one was left.

Katharine is treated so poorly in Greavesdrake Manor that I immediately joined her side.  I root for her.  I want her to kill these bitches and I want her to kill the Arrons...the poisoners who rule the Black Council...think Parliament.  There's a queen and all but they make most of the rules and decisions.  There's been a poisoner queen for the last 3 generations so the Arrons are flipping their shit that they may be ousted if their queen can't get her shit together...and quit vomiting everywhere due to the poison she's consuming.

So, when the girls turn 16, on their birthday, there is a celebration for them to demonstrate their awesomeness.  Arsinoe can't do shit.  Katharine gets sick in the middle of the ballroom in front of all of the poisoners.  And Mirabella is able to wow the people of Rolanth with her thunderstorm, wind, and fire.  I think because she does have some measure of power is the reason that I just don't like her.  Well that and she fucked Joseph...but I'm pissed at him too for fucking her.  So Joseph...follow this flow chart children.  Arsinoe's best friend and foster sister is Jules.  The girls are sent to a family that will help teach them the art of their power and how to use it.  For Arsinoe, that was Jules' family.  Jules is an incredibly powerful naturalist and her familiar is a cougar which is holy shit balls powerful in the naturalist world.  So Jules, Joseph, and Arsinoe were bff until they tried to sneak Arsinoe off the island and Joseph was banished.  He's back now though and he and Jules are in love or appear to be and they've always held out hope for one another and knew they would be reunited and blah blah blah hearts and kisses everywhere (barf).  So when this dude fucked Mirabella, I was pissed.  Like put the book down for a week kind of pissed.  I know the bitch saved you from drowning and you were confused but fuck off.  Now...having said all of that, I'm really confused now that I've finished the book with how I feel about Joseph and Mirabella.  It's like I don't want him around Jules because he can't seem to keep his mind or dick off of Mirabella so I'm starting to kinda feel like just go on with her somewhere.  You hurt Jules so just go.

Now that I'm done rambling about that...after the birthday celebrations, the following year there is the Quickening ceremony where they meet potential suitors that come from the 'mainland' and they basically show off their powers again.  And once again, epic failure abounds.  I don't want to give it away but it's a disaster.  People die...a queen dies which is, in itself, a plot twist I didn't see coming...and then there's another plot twist that showed up.  It got super plot twisty right there toward the end which was good because I really, really, really want to read the next book now!  The whole point though of the Quickening is after it...it's game on to try and kill your sister!  So...any bets on who gets killed first and by whom?  It could be like a game of Clue!

For a young adult book...two thumbs up.  5 stars.  I'm ready for the next book.  If you're into a little supernatural but with a monarchy and also people trying to kill each other...totally read this book.  It's a super fast read and I would have finished sooner had I not gotten in my feelings about Joseph and Mirabella doing the dirty dirty.

And...now that I'm done...I'm still on Team Katharine!  Make me the shirt and bumper sticker.

LOVED IT!      

Book 9 - The Magnolia Story by Chip and Joanna Gaines

I don't know about you, but I'm an avid HGTV watcher and one of my favorite shows is Fixer Upper.  Chip and Joanna Gaines are a married couple in the Waco, TX area who help their clients find a house within their budget that needs some renovations.  They then fix up the house in order to turn it into their client's dream home.  Okay...not that unique of an idea...but really with these two, there's just something different.  There is this vibe they put off that they're good people, down home people, people you want to get to know.  So...given that I'm obsessed with them and every design idea Joanna has, I HAD to pick up this book and boy am I glad I did!  I LOVED reading their story and finding out a little bit more about them. 

Their book takes you from the beginning with a little background on where they grew up told from their own perspectives and you also get a little background on how they met.  Turns out, neither one was what the other thought they would end up with as a significant other.  Joanna didn't think she would end up with a talkative, rambunctious man and Chip didn't think he would end up with a shy, introverted girl...but they just knew somehow that they were meant for each other.  You can really feel the love they have for one another throughout the pages of the book.  They eventually lead you into how Chip had an entrepreneurial spirit and several lawn care businesses that then developed into renovating homes and through many years developed into something more.  Joanna never pictured herself being a designer but somehow that's where she ended up.  

They are both very candid in explaining that it wasn't always sunshine, butterflies, and unicorn farts.  There were real struggles and certain times when they thought they would hit rock bottom, but it always worked out.  They're so incredibly candid in their belief in God and I found that incredibly inspiring.  As someone who personally knows the power of God's timing, this book really spoke to me.  Joanna continually expresses throughout the book that just when they thought things were falling apart, God would come through at just the right time.  It was so refreshing to hear that from complete strangers.  It's one thing for me to talk about my experiences with trusting in God and His timing with my mother, but it's just further validation in my own beliefs to hear about it from others.  

There is truly a genuine quality to these two that shines through in their book.  You find that they are people you want to know, you want to hang out with, get to know.  They're hard working, honest, and just GOOD people...and good people are hard to come by sometimes in today's world.  When I was finished with this book, I wanted to meet them, I wanted to visit Magnolia Market in Waco, and I felt my faith restored in people.  They are legitimately setting a good example for their children and even their community...but the thing is, they were doing that before there was ever a camera on them.  It truly is God's blessing, I think, that they were given the opportunity to shine their light into the world.  Their story really is an inspiration.  

Thank you, Chip and Joanna, for sharing this beautiful story with the world.         

Book 8 - Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs

I finally joined the bandwagon and read this book!  I've been wanting to for a while now...way before I found out they were making it into a movie.  Bad thing is though...I probably won't be able to watch the movie.  I get super judgmental of movies after I've read the books...to the point I can't enjoy the movie!  Anyway....

We begin our journey with a young fellow named Jacob recounting stories told to him by his Grandpa Portman; a man of Polish decent who was fought in WWII and who's parents were killed prior to the war.  Grandpa Portman showed photographs of his friends from his childhood, some of whom were an invisible boy and a levitating girl.  Cut to many years later, Jacob is 16 and working at one of his family's drugstore chains...Smart Aid.  It is during one of his work days he receives a phone call from his Grandpa, freaking out, wanting the key to the weapons cabinet.  The family had long ago locked up the weapons cabinet because they feared Grandpa was losing his mind due to senility.  Grandpa had been claiming there were monsters but the family just assumed he was lapsing back into memories and days of the war.  Jacob would soon discover his grandfather was perfectly in his right mind.  By the time Jacob gets to his grandfather's house, he knows something isn't right.  After searching the house Jacob wanders out into the backyard and further into the bordering woods where he finds his grandfather...barely alive...chest bleeding from scratches that looked to have been made by an animal.  That's what the police said...animal attack.  Jacob, however, sees a different monster in the woods...one with tentacles for a tongue and sharp claws.  Jacob knows it is this creature that has killed his grandfather.  With his last breath, Grandpa Portman tells Jacob a few things that at the time make no sense to him, but eventually turn out to be clues.  After the death of his grandfather, and seeing the creature, Jacob slips into a depression and honestly believes he himself is going crazy.  It isn't until he goes to therapy that things kind of start improving.  

Finally, on Jacob's 16th birthday, his aunt gives him a book she found when cleaning out Grandpa Portman's things.  It is a book of Ralph Waldo Emerson's works and inside the cover it says For Jacob...Emerson was one of the clues provided to him from his grandfather's last words.  It's not so much the book though, but rather the letter found in the book.  Grandpa used to always talk about the children at Miss Peregrine's school and within the Emerson book, a letter from Miss Peregrine falls out.  Jacob starts to believe maybe his grandfather wasn't making it all up.  Maybe, just maybe, he needs to visit the place the letter was postmarked from to see if the school is still there.  Upon the encouragement of his psychiatrist, Jacob and his father go to the island...his father to bird watch and Jacob...well Jacob goes to see if he's lost his mind or not.  Once on the island, Jacob learns the location of the school and when he gets there all he finds is a ruined house with floors rotting and walls missing...not to mention part of the house completely gone from a bomb falling on it during the war.  It isn't until one day Jacob finds a trunk full of pictures like the ones his grandfather showed him that he thinks he may on to something.  It's also during the time he's going through these pictures that he starts to hear people talking to him.  He looks up to find several children around him but when he tries to explain himself or ask them anything, they all take off running.  He manages to give chase and follows one girl, Emma, into a cairn.  When he enters the cairn, there's no one there, but when he climbs back out, he has stepped back into time.  September 3, 1940 to be exact.  Of course he doesn't know he's entered a different time until he tries to go back to the one inn on the island and they have no idea who he is, nor does he see anything remotely modern.  Emma eventually finds him, holds a knife to him until he answers why he's following her, and takes him back to the school which now that he is back in 1940 is standing once again.  

Back at the house, he meets Miss Peregrine who begins to explain a few things.  When the war came, she created a time loop so basically they repeat the same day over and over again.  All of the children are indeed 'peculiar'.  Emma creates fire and light with her hands.  Miss Peregrine turns into a falcon and can manipulate time.  Hugh has bees that come from his mouth.  Bronwyn has super human strength.  Fiona can grow trees and flowers.  Millard is the invisible boy.  They all really do exist.  His grandfather wasn't lying.  The bad thing is though, if the children leave the loop and enter the present for an extended period of time, they will begin aging rapidly to their actual age so they must always remain in the loop.  But like everyone, the peculiars have enemies...other than humans.  They are known as the hollowghast...these subhuman creatures with sharp teeth and claws and tentacles for a mouth.  They feast on peculiars and after eating so many of them they can become somewhat human and become what is known as a wight.  Wights have no pupils and they try to find peculiars or really anyone for the hollowghast to feast on.  Jacob's grandfather could see the hollowghast...as not all peculiars can.  Monster sight was Grandpa Portman's peculiar talent...and he has passed it down to Jacob...

Jacob spends his time on the island traveling between present day and 1940 until one day another peculiar from another time loop shows up frantic.  Her loop was infiltrated by a wight and the children were killed.  She barely managed to escape.  Turns out the wights are trying to find all peculiars who can alter time in hopes of creating a great peculiar species that could rule the world.  Isn't that everyone bad guy's goal?  Power?  It also just so happens a wight has showed up on the island in the present time.  Turns out the wight can take many disguises and has infiltrated himself in Jacob's life for basically his entire life...first as a school bus driver, then as his grandfather's neighbor, and then as his psychiatrist!  He knew if he persuaded Jacob to go to the island to find answers, he would be able to follow him, find the other peculiars, and get Miss Peregrine since she can manipulate time!  The children fight back though and are able to rescue Miss Peregrine...bad thing is though...she can't turn back into a human and the loop has broken.  At the end, for the first time in over 60 years, it is September 4, 1960.  The children, along with Miss Peregrine in falcon form, leave behind all they've ever known to go in search of other time loops and those who can manipulate time in order to form an army that can battle the hollowghast and the wights.  

Knowing he never really had much, Jacob goes with them.  He tells his father the truth, knowing his father may never believe him...but either way he leaves.  He has a new family now...one that understands him...and one that he somehow understands.  He finally has a purpose and an extraordinary life.  

It takes a while to get to Miss Peregrine and her peculiar children but to me the book needed the background stuff.  You needed to see Jacob struggle through his conflicts about his grandfather.  Was he crazy?  Was he cheating?  You needed to encounter all of that just so it restored your faith is his grandfather just as much as it restored Jacob's faith.  Even though we spend a lot of time getting to know Jacob's life, it was still fast paced to me.  I feel Riggs had an overall goal and he knew he wouldn't be able to tell Jacob's story with one book.  I look forward to following the peculiar children in their next adventure.       

Book 7 - Hexed: Book 2 of the Iron Druid Chronicles by Kevin Hearne

So if you read my blog on Hounded...you know how I feel about this series and that was after only the first book.  I still feel the same way...maybe even more so.  NERDGASM!  I still want to have babies with Atticus, I want to love all over his Irish Wolfhound, Oberon, and it really makes me want to visit Ireland even more than I already did. 

When we last left Atticus he was recuperating in his back yard after doing battle with demons and bad witches...he had also had part of his ear chewed off.  It's now the morning after and he awakes to find the Morrigan wanting his attention.  She proceeds to have her way with him, which heals his ear, but dear Lord...it was not rough sex in the good way.  She damn near kills him and I'm fairly certain he never wants to experience her again.  He gets his ear back though so I guess it's okay...?  Anyway, the ear thing is important because of his last shenanigans, the missing ear thing is the only thing the police have to go on.  So thanks Morrigan...but I think we could all do without the excessively rough sex next time.  

Now that Atticus has his ear back, hello trouble.  There's a band of Bacchants (followers of Bacchus aka Dionysus...click the link for a little Wikipedia knowledge on the subject if you wish) in the next town over causing problems for the witches...not to mention there are witches causing problems for the witches and Atticus.  Ugh...witches.  We do find out though that witches have no power over the werewolves which made me think yes, please...sign me up for werewolf.  If I have to choose, I don't want cold, pasty skin of a vampire, and Druid seems like a lot of hard work to develop something to help protect your ass for thousands of years so yeah...I'll be furry.  It's almost winter anyway and no woman likes shaving her legs in the winter.  I'm just sayin...  Anyway...ignore that tangent.  Also to contend with, Atticus' vampire attorney, Leif, is all yo Atticus when are you going to kill Thor for me??!!  It's seriously never a dull day for Atticus.  

First up on problems to deal with...Bacchants.  Alright...no big deal...consider it done.  Things get a little messy (lol on that unintentional joke if you actually read up on Bacchants and if you go and read this book) but eh...not a bad night's work (again lol...cracking myself up here...maybe it's because I should really be sleeping right now), especially since he had the help of Laksha for the Bacchant slaying.

Next up...psychotic witches trying to kill Atticus with a hex (thus the name of the book) that kills you from the inside out.  Luckily, Atticus has his handy necklace that protects his ass, and he is able to make a few amulets for Granuaile to protect her from the "boil you from the inside out" hex.  With the help of the witches he has made a peace treaty with, Atticus is able to figure out where the bad witches are stationed.  In order to get a bit more help with the situation, Atticus promises Leif he'll get Thor for him (well at least we know what sort of shenanigans will be attempted in the next book).  So of course, the band of brothers, and witches, go storming the baddy witch castle and a battle ensues.  I should say the reason these witches are such bitches is because they mate with demons from hell in order to produce demon offspring.  Ugh...women are psychotic, y'all.  

So yeah...some sex crazed maniacs die...some witches die...some demons die.  All is right with the universe again...at least until the next adventure of Atticus.  As usual, I can't wait to see what happens next up with Atticus.  Oberon is still there and still the comedic relief at all times.  There are several twists in this book that I didn't expect...some deaths that shocked me.  Obviously I've glossed over many, many details but that's for your benefit.  

GO READ THE DAMN BOOKS!  :)           

Book 6 - The Magician's Lie by Greer Macallister

I thoroughly enjoyed this book.  I liked how it flipped back and forth between the present and flashbacks of Arden's life.  If you're not one for that sort of thing...get over it and read the damn book.  Also, before you read any further...it's a murder book...I tell you who died and who did it...so SPOILER ALERT.  

The story begins with a magic act of sawing a man in half...followed by a real man actually having been beaten and sawed in half...well that grabbed my attention from the get go.  I do love a good murder story after all.  The magician, it must be told, is a woman by the stage name of Arden.  We don't start out knowing the identify of the dead man, but given the magician is so skilled in seemingly knowing how to saw a man in half, she becomes the immediate suspect.  She is seen and captured by a small town police officer who has his own demons.  He was shot in the line of duty not too long ago and has just received some very disturbing news from the doctor about the bullet lodged in his back.  Not trusting Arden, but knowing if he can get her to confess his career will be set, officer Virgil Holt handcuffs her to a chair for the interrogation.  Arden is adamant that she is innocent and knows nothing about the murder, but Virgil insists on knowing what happened so Arden begins her story at the beginning.  

Once upon a time, Arden was known by her government name of Ada Bates and she lived with her mother and grandparents in quite the lap of luxury.  However, that all changed when her mother met a man of meager means and he promised her the world.  Like a typical woman in love, she left behind the riches of her family and moved with him to a farm...and on this farm was a boy named Ray.  Ray was the son of her new step-father's brother...yeah...follow that flow chart.  He was a cousin by marriage only.  Ray was a twisted sort who believed he had the magic to heal people...when really he was just a sadistic freak who liked to hurt animals and people.  Ada coped with the drastic changes her life had taken by taking up dancing...ballet in particular.  And she was good.  She was graceful and she worked hard.  She worked so hard and progressed so quickly her mother was able to get her an audition for a prestigious dance teacher that would be visiting the Biltmore Estate.  Her mother, Ada, and Ray set off to Biltmore for the audition.  Once they arrived at Biltmore, Ada went out to the barn to clear her head before her big audition and to work through her steps.  Ray found her and forced himself upon her.  When she fought back and would not succumb to her advances, he picked her up and threw her from the hay loft, crushing not only her leg but also her dreams of leaving the wretched farm and wretched Ray.  

After she recovered and once she was 16, Ada was out like a fat kid in dodge ball and went to Biltmore to try and find work.  She didn't know where else to go to find work but she knew how to clean house and she figured she could just sneak in.  It surprisingly worked and by that I mean the head cleaning lady let her stay.  Ada got along well and during her stay she met a gardener named Clyde who was 2 years older than her.  The two were immediately smitten with each other but when they were caught by Mr. Biltmore himself they decided to leave the estate and travel north.  At the same time, Ada got a letter that Ray was on his way so to continue outrunning him, she traveled with Clyde. Whilst staying with Clyde's relatives, unbeknownst to Ada, he proposed in order to get happy engagement money from the family.  He should have clued Ada in because she was legitimately heart broken when she learned he had only asked her for the purposes of milking money from his family and had no real interest in marrying her.  I say she's legit in being pissed.  Ada, being all up in her feelings, split from Clyde when they made it to New York.  She got a job as a dancer in a chorus line production and was approached by a woman, a female magician, to be in her show.  The money was too good and Ada decided to join the traveling magic show.  At first she was just a helper but more and more she was taken under the tutelage of Adelaide, the magician.  Eventually it was time for Adelaide to retire so she turned the show over to Ada, on the condition that she worked with the manager of her own choosing...that manager just so happened to be Clyde.  Well hello plot twist.  It takes some time but eventually the two just can't help themselves and they realize they are right for each other and the romance begins again.  

In the midst of things going well, both personally and professionally, Arden travels to Chicago to check out a theater for where her show could potentially be held when a fire breaks out.  Someone saves her but she wakes up in a basement surrounded by people covered by white sheets...obviously those that perished from the fire.  Upon waking, who's face does she see?  Ray.  Mother fucker.  Just die already.  Ray, always with his handy straight razor, does his psychotic routine but Arden, now older and stronger, gets his razor and slits his throat.  However, Arden is never really the same again because of the blood on her hands.  She never tells a soul of what happened but she has a hard time reconnecting with Clyde after the incident of the fire and the throat cutting.  She and Clyde eventually work through things and carry on with the traveling magic show...until Ray shows up once again in her life.  He threatens Clyde's life so she sends a telegram (he's still in New York) and tells him it's over.  For weeks Ray holds her prisoner in her own train car only letting her out to do the shows.  He beats her and does his usual psycho routine.  

Now...skipping a whole lot and a lot of detail that really is worth reading, that brings us up to her being handcuffed to a chair in the police station.  Turns out the dead guy is.....RAY!!  Holy shit balls...fucking finally!  Believe me...once you reading everything this fucker did, you'll feel like I did.  However, it really wasn't Arden who killed him......it was...DUN DUN DUNNNNNN....

CLYDE!  Yes!  He knew that mother fucker was hurting his woman and had been for some time.  He also knew they were in love and she wouldn't just send a telegram to break up with him.  The good news is too...they don't get caught by the police!  Which in all honesty, it was self defense that Ray ended up dead.  

Now...I have left a whole lot out because there are some things about Virgil that add to the story and make a little subplot going on with him.  He's a good man but he knows his career is over.  He eventually comes around to Ada's side though...he sympathizes with her after hearing her story.  I liked this story a lot and found switching between the past and present really helped keep the story from getting boring or from dragging on for too long at one particular time.  I would definitely read anything in the future from Greer Macallister.  Well done.          

Book 5 - Curious Minds by Janet Evanovich and Phoef Sutton

So...I'm back...finally.  The last 3 months have been a ridiculous whirlwind...in a good way.  I accepted a new job, quit my old job, started my new job, and moved to a different city all within 3 weeks.  I've been trying to get my feet back under me and I've finally made it out of my 90 day period so I think it's safe to say they're going to keep me.  I couldn't be happier with where I am now.  My professional life was a drag really and I can't keep the smile off my face now when I talk about work.  Legit, best decision I've made in years and I know it was all guided by God.  Anyway, now that the absence has been explained...on to the books!  I've been reading quite a bit but I'm just now getting around to blogging so hopefully there will be about 4 of these in the very near future...

I absolutely love everything by Janet Evanovich and it was incredibly refreshing to see a new series with a new set of characters.  I've been an avid reader of Evanovich for years starting with the Stephanie Plum series but I had to put it down for a bit.  I'm just a little over the fact that she can't make up her mind between the two men.  It was interesting for the first 17 books, but now I'm just frustrated.  Granted I'm only on book 18 and she's up to like book 22 or 23 of the series but still...I'm tired of that game.  Alas, I digress.

Curious Minds revolves around Riley Moon, a junior analyst at a prestigious bank that makes Goldman Sachs look puny, and she has been asked to contact one mysterious recluse, Emerson Knight, because he has not responded to the bank even though he recently inherited millions of dollars from his father's passing.  Riley grew up in Texas, the youngest of 5 children, she the only girl.  She's the daughter of the former sheriff and she left her small world in Texas to get her MBA and Law Degree from Harvard followed by accepting the junior analyst position at the bank of Blane-Grunwald.  She's now visiting Emerson Knight at his home also dubbed as Mysterioso Manor.  Emerson is an eccentric millionaire who is that awkward sort of intelligent, but he's also incredibly attractive...as all book men are.  Emerson inherited his father's estate and all of the money that goes along with that including a large sum of gold bars...and now he wants to see it.  He wants to visually see his own gold, and hey...who could fault him for that.  Riley tries to reassure Emerson that everything is fine...his gold is fine...everything is safe and secure; but Emerson wants to see it for himself.  It doesn't help that his usual bank contact, and Riley's mentor/boss, has been missing for a month.  Emerson tells Riley they're going to the bank to see the head honcho, Werner Grunwald, so he can see his gold.  And thus begins our journey into hijinks that Evanovich is known for.

During the meeting at the bank with Werner, Emerson eventually informs him he'll help look for his brother.  It's also worth noting that 2 international bankers for Blane-Grunwald have apparently committed suicide and another banker in the New York office was recently found dead.  Werner has Riley go along with Emerson so he can basically use her as a spy...along the way though, Riley changes sides...if she ever really on the side of the Grunwald's to begin with.  Through a series of hilarious hijinks and murder attempts...not to mention felonies, Emerson and Riley uncover a huge conspiracy to switch out the gold in the Federal Reserve with gold plated tungsten.  The thieves want to melt it down and make their own currency with it *eye roll*.  I don't want to ruin anything but when all is said and done, they find the thieves, out them to the world, and Emerson at last gets to see his gold.  He also hires Riley on and thus begins the real question of will they or won't they?  They of course have chemistry.  Emerson, being so intelligent, is not very good with people because he's so honest.  He misses the social cues that some things may be inappropriate to say.  Riley finds him both annoying and charming, and he finds her to be intelligent and amusing.  They balance each other out so I look forward to where Evanovich will take them.  I also look forward to the next set of hijinks she puts these two through.

I read this book over the course of 2 days with actually getting a few hours of sleep in between so for me that's about a day.  I always find I can fly through Evanovich's books and this one was no exception.  Her characters were refreshing and it was a different change of pace from the Stephanie Plum scene that I thoroughly enjoyed.  If you're looking for a light hearted, quick paced, page turner that will make you kind of chuckle to yourself, you can't go wrong with Curious Minds...plus it's the first one in a new series so you'll know you're starting at the beginning.

5 Stars for Evanovich...but that's nothing new.  :)  

Book 4 - Yellow Brick War by Danielle Paige

Gosh, Danielle Paige does it again with the latest installment of the Dorothy Must Die series!  I don't think I will ever get tired of seeing in which direction she'll take us next.

When we last left Amy, she, Dorothy, and the witches were back in Kansas!  When we meet up with them again, Mombi, Gert, and Glamora are speaking cryptically to potentially Amy...but it turns out they're talking to Nox!  They're telling Nox it's time to join the Quadrant, which basically, is like taking up the priesthood but with witchcraft...okay so maybe that's a blasphemous metaphor, but he is apparently no longer allowed to have a fucking life...literally or figuratively.  He is now obligated to put Oz first...forever.  No family, no love life,  no nothing...just Oz...uhhhhhh fuck that.  Sheesh.  Anyway, Amy is all what the fuck dudes?  What the hell am I?  Chopped liver?  Thanks for using me for absolutely nothing and getting me almost killed more than once!!  Well, in the background is also Dorothy but she's still got those gaudy red shoes on so she just taps her fucking heels together and poofs back to Oz to reign down more destruction with her psychotic, power hungry self.  

So now...Amy and the newly formed Quadrant are in Kansas with no foreseeable way to get back to Oz...until they think of the silver shoes that took Dorothy back to Kansas the first go around.  They're hoping, if they took Dorothy to Kansas, maybe that can take them back to Oz.  The downside though, the witches are weak in Kansas, Amy has no power, and she has to go back to high school...which means she also has to go back to her mother.  The mother who left her on the day of the tornado that took her to Oz to go pop some pills, drink some booze, and get some strange at a tornado party.  Amy knows it's the only option they have and she knows they have to get back to Oz in order to stop Dorothy from causing more destruction.  Begrudgingly, she goes to her mother's apartment...

...And enters into the fucking twilight zone!  Her mother has been relocated to a set of run down apartments that had seen better days BEFORE the tornado.  Not only his mother ecstatic to see her but she's also...SOBER!  Amy immediately recognizes her mother is coherent even if she's still stuck in the slutty fashion ways of her former self...but hey baby steps...it's only been a month.  That's right...all of the time spent in Oz has only been a month of Kansas time.  Amy notices too that her mother's apartment is also clean...something their trailer back in Dusty Acres never was unless Amy did it herself.  Amy makes up some nonsense story about the twister picking her up and she was in the hospital in Topeka with amnesia...she threw in the amnesia because it turns out her mother had been looking for her.  After the tornado, Amy's mom got her shit together but it took losing her daughter for her to do it.  Amy, though, doesn't trust it...it's only been a month.  She keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop and for her apologetic, seemingly sincere, mother to go back to the booze and pills.  After a day or so, Amy goes back to high school to finish out her senior year but really it's to look for the silver shoes.  

Not only is Amy in the twilight zone at home, but also at school.  Remember Madison, the bitchy pregnant girl who was always hateful to Amy?  Well, she's popped out her baby and has now become an outcast as well.  She and baby daddy, Dustin, begin talking with Amy and sitting with her which absolutely warps Amy's mind.  She decides she might be able to use them to help her look for Dorothy's shoes.  She tells them about a snippet of a newspaper article she found written by L.F. Baum recounting the stories of a Ms. Gale who saw visions after she survived a tornado.  Yep...proof that Dorothy really did exist...now if only she could find the article, maybe she could find out where the shoes went.  Dustin tells her there are some old archived newspapers and stuff in the school library but it's all locked up...only way to get to it would be detention with library cleaning duty.  Amy goes to the Assistant Principal making up some bullshit story about how it isn't fair she didn't serve her suspension with the tornado and all so how about she serve her penance in detention?  The AP seems satisfied with this and allows it.  Dustin is able to schmooze the teacher in charge of detention so they can clean the library, which is when Amy feels a magical hum coming from a box stuck way in the back.  When Amy touches the box it burns her and suddenly she is faced with a creepy mofo in a black robe talking about her finding so easily what he had hidden which means she is in fact powerful.  He introduces himself as The Nome King and he too wants to rule Oz...and given Dorothy is losing control, he thinks he can wield Amy to do his dirty work.  So now...not only do we still have Dorothy and Glinda to deal with, but now we add this creepy motherfucker into the mix.  *SIGH*  The Nome King lets Amy go for now but she finds inside the box a blank journal...which through a little magical help from Mombi, proves to be the real life journal of one Dorothy Gale.  However, it doesn't reveal a flipping thing about where the monkey these shoes are!  

So...how then do they get back to Oz you ask?  Well...the Nome King commandeers the AP's body at the same time Nox shows up and at the same time Amy realizes the silver shoes are in plain sight in the diorama in the high school hallway depicting the characters of The Wizard of Oz.  The shoes are on miniature Dorothy's feet!  Whilst a fight ensues between Nox and the Nome King (who summons another fucking tornado!) Amy breaks the glass, grabs the shoes, and they grow to fit her feet perfectly...into COMBAT BOOTS!  Diamond encrusted combat boots!  I WANT SOME!  Of course I have nothing to wear with them but meh...diamonds go with everything!  Anyway......Amy can feel the power in the boots and uses them to grab Nox's hand to get back to Oz before the Nome King can transport them to only God knows where in his tornado.  Luckily, because Nox is now part of the quadrant, Gert, Mombi, and Glamora are also transported back to Oz...where shit gets really real.  

They have been transported back to the Tin Woodman's deserted palace but not far in the distance is Glinda with a creepy clone army.  Of course a battle ensues, and the monkeys even show up...and then Dorothy shoes up with mechanical three headed version of Toto.  Problem is, Amy can't use magic...well I mean she can...but she shouldn't.  Magic from Oz doesn't do well with us normal folks...it has corrupted Dorothy and it has made Amy dark on more than one occasion.  She decides to risk it and it is this darkness that is able to slay Toto.  It is only when she hears Nox yelling her name that she is able to come out of that dark magic place...awwwww...loveeee.  At the end of the battle, it appears as though Dorothy has run off, in a much weakened state but she's still not dead, and it appears as though Glamora has defeated Glinda...we find out later that's not really true...ugh...nothing is ever simple.  The Wicked make a plan to go to the Emerald City the next day in order to take Dorothy on once again, as she is now tapping into the magic of the Great Clock...the most natural and powerful form of magic in Oz.  It's a virtual oil pump of magic.  

They make it to the Emerald City to find it in ruins with vines growing everywhere and black cloud swirling above it.  Amy and Nox make it into the palace while the other witches battle more plants and clockwork soldiers created by Dorothy's corrupted magic.  Amy has to use the shoes to find Dorothy through the nightmarish castle and when she does, they find a Dorothy that looks to be almost dead.  Her eyes are sunken in, she's pale, her dress in tattered, and she has the most evil eyes...she's drunk on the power of the magic.  She's also causing destruction in not only Oz but also Kansas because she has thrown the Great Clock into Lurline's pool.  Through Lurline's pool, Amy can see what is happening in her home of Kansas.  She decides fuck it, yells I love you to Nox, and jumps in...but she is taken to a world between worlds...Lurline's world.  So Lurline is the fairy who brought Magic to Oz...without her, there would be no Oz.  She gets all cryptic and tells Amy to be careful with the magic so she doesn't become like Dorothy.  She gives her a good bit of sage advice and a necklace for someone else.  She is then transported back into the cavern where she left Nox and Dorothy.  With the use of both of their magics, Nox and Amy are able to sever the tether Dorothy has on the Great Clock and she basically burns up from the magic overload.  Like literally...bitch burns...3rd degree burns...eye oozing out..the works.  Which is honestly a good thing because Amy has decided she doesn't want to kill anyone...not even Dorothy.  She doesn't want to become a dark, corrupted version of herself.  The palace is also beginning to shake and crumble so Amy and Nox make a run for it.  Finally outside the palace and into safety, Nox makes the declaration to screw the Quadrant because he's in love with her too...yay but ugh...stupid Quadrant.  Ozma...the I've had my brain scrambled by Dorothy and Glinda former ruler of Oz...shows up and Amy knows immediately the necklace from Lurline is for her.  She puts the necklace on and immediately the old Ozma is back...Oz has its ruler again!  A huge celebration is had...yay...Amy and Nox are all in love...yay...

...But nothing good lasts forever...okay so that's depressing...but there's another bump in the road up ahead as it is confirmed that Glinda and Glamora are actually sharing a body after their initial battle.  And right now, Glinda is winning.  She summons a silver pool that Amy looks into and can see the Nome King has still taken up residence in the AP's body, and that he also has a grip on Madison.  He uses this silver pool to come to Oz, with Madison in tow.  He wants Amy; but she is able to use the power of the shoes to grab Nox and Madison and take off running.  They make it to the yellow brick road with a very confused and fucking scared Madison; but it turns out the road is helping them.  It is moving under them like it wants them to go a certain way.  Amy grabs Nox by the hand, and the three take their first step off into the next adventure....

Now...I have to wait at least probably another year before I know where we go from here!  Thanks so much for leaving me with a cliffhanger, she said with heavy sarcasm!  I love these books and I will just have to fill my time with other amazing books until the next one comes out.  I can't wait to see where the road leads next for Amy and Nox, and of course the other Wicked...but mostly Amy and Nox :)  I'm a sucker for a good love story!         

     

Book 3 - Hounded: Book 1 of the Iron Druid Chronicles by Kevin Hearne

I LOVED AND ADORED THIS BOOK! NERDGASM TO THE MAX!   

I seriously just want to marry Atticus and have his Druid babies...as many as he wants.  Oh to be in love with a fictional character.  Anyway...I'm about to skip over a whole lot of information but the only thing you need to know is, you're doing yourself a disservice if you don't read this series...whether it's what you're into or not!  

This book contained everything that makes my little nerd heart tick with glee...an Irish Druid (because I love all things Irish given my great grandmother's maiden name was Flaherty), a werewolf lawyer, a vampire lawyer, witches, the Fae, gods and goddesses, andddd an Irish Wolfhound who has the most amazing sense of humor that I now want an Irish Wolfhound despite the fact my apartment could not accommodate one, nor could my budget.  On to the general premise of this story and everything I so loved about it...

Hearne has an incredible sense of humor and ability to make a story come to life.  I couldn't put this book down and I couldn't read fast enough.  I was utterly drawn in from page one and I have since bought every book in the series.  It's just one of those stories that you're thinking about when going about your day...maybe only serious bookworms will understand that...but it's the truth.  I've even found myself thinking back on it when something happens in daily life.  It's just really sticking with me so Bravo Kevin...Bravo! 

Atticus (real name Siodhachan -- pronounce SHE ya han) O'Sullivan is a Druid who is oh about 2000 years old but looks like a 21 year old.  Um, yes please.  He's a gingy with tattoos and a total badass...he's also wanted dead by the god of love, Aenghus Og, because of a sword, Fragarach, that Atticus won fair and square during a battle.  Aenghus is just a piss poor loser.  So Atticus has, up until this point, been living a fairly quiet life in Arizona, running an occult book shop, doing yard work for his elderly Irish neighbor Mrs. MacDonagh, and just doing his thing with herbs and tea.  That is, until the Morrigan shows up in his shop and tells him Aenghus is after him and knows where he is.  In addition to this, Atticus has witches showing up at his shop wanting a tea that will render a man impotent.  It isn't until after the first administration of this tea that Atticus learns the man is Aenghus.  Everyone seems to be up against him...not to mention someone is in his home after he gets home from hearing the warning from the Morrigan.  Turns out the intruder is Flidais, a goddess of the hunt, who has come to talk to Atticus about Aenghus and to basically learn the location of the sword, Fragarach.  Flidais, while potentially being a great fuck, brings nothing but trouble when she uses her goddess powers to make Oberon, Atticus' Irish Wolfhound, kill a park ranger during a hunt in the local park.  Granted the park ranger was under the control of Aenghus, but still, the police catch wind and through Aenghus' control of folks, they show up at Atticus' door.  Lucky for Atticus, he has a badass werewolf lawyer, Hal, and a badass, slightly creepy, vampire lawyer, Leif.  Hal happens to be there every step of the way with Atticus through all of the search warrants and he's there when the police show up to search the shop during which Atticus is able to snap the control Aenghus has over one officer, but he also gets himself shot.  Now...being the Druid he is, he just has to get to some grass and dirt and he can heal...well that story doesn't fit well with the police.  Luckily, Hal has a werewolf doctor that can falsify some reports and make shit look real.  It's good to have inside men.  With all of this going on, Atticus must also contend with Bres, a god who is also basically a lackey for Aenghus; but this proves to be easier than anticipated and Atticus easily slays Bres.  However, Bres happens to be the husband of Brighid who happens to be goddess of the forge, and honestly, a goddess that Atticus has great reverence and respect for.  She also shows up at his house and isn't quite sure if she's going to kill his ass or not; but ultimately decides he did her favor in killing her bumbling idiot of a husband so as long as Atticus is on her side during the faction occurring within the Fae, she'll spare him.  Aenghus being such a sore loser is causing these gods and goddess to split between being on his side, and being on Brighid's side.  Atticus readily pledges his loyalty to her because honestly...it's his goddess.  Wouldn't you do the same if your primary deity showed up in your kitchen??  

So...we've got Aenghus still hanging out, Flidais making trouble with her antics, the police breathing down Atticus' door looking for Oberon, Bridghid showing up searching for loyalty but also hiding secrets of her own, and still pesky witches that we still aren't sure can be trusted (because witches can never be trusted).  Finally....FINALLY...Aenghus makes his move...at the most inconvenient of times.  Just when Atticus is finally getting the full scoop on how the hot bartender, Granuaile, who he has seriously been crushing on for more than a hot minute, has been possessed by a Hindu witch who shares a home inside her body, werewolf alpha Mangusson, shows up to ask Atticus if he has seen Hal (werewolf attorney).  Not 2 seconds after the wolves show up, Atticus' phone rings and of course it's a witch saying they have not only Hal, but also Oberon.  Well shit...now the wolves are pissed and Atticus is pissed...all of this because of a sword...*sigh*...boys and their toys.  

Atticus and the wolves devise a plan, including Granuaile because she wants to be the Druid's apprentice, and hey why  not throw her into the deep end...Anyway, they develop a plan to go to Aenghus and a battle ensues.  I'll spare you all the details...but they're really good details...a couple of plot twists and very little death on the part of the good guys.  Lots of demons from hell released though...a couple get away that have to be dealt with later but eh...it gets handled.  Important part is, Aenghus is defeated!  Woot Woot!  And Atticus gets to add another sword to his collection, Moralltach.  The bad witches are killed.  Granuaile and the Hindu witch, Laksha, find a comatose patient's body to house Laksha in, and Granuaile is able to begin her apprenticeship with Atticus...of course your libido will cause no problems at all with that scenario Atticus...

There's seriously so much background information and action packed fun.  You HAVE to read this book!  You need to know the background, the history, the pure comedy that is Oberon, just...all of the goodness!  Hearne is able to pack so much story telling into this book but it seriously flies by and you're left hungering for more!  

GO READ THIS SERIES...RIGHT NOW...GO!   

   

Book 2 - Smokin' Seventeen by Janet Evanovich

So, as the title would suggest this is number 17 of the Stephanie Plum series, and yes I've read all of them up to this point as well as the Between the Plum Novels.  I love pretty much everything Evanovich writes.  I fell off the bandwagon for a bit with this one though.  If you're a follower of the Plum series then you already know Ranger and Morelli.  I really just didn't like that she was slutting herself up between the two of them.  I am a die hard Morelli girl so I didn't like her sleeping with Ranger while she and Joe were still 'on'.  

For those of you have never read an Evanovich novel, here's a quick synopsis of what you've missed...and it's a lot considering this is book 17.  Anyway, Stephanie Plum used to work in a factory in Trenton, New Jersey until it closed down and she found herself with a car she couldn't afford and no job.  She needed money so she ended up going to work for her cousin Vinnie in his bail bonds agency...not as a desk clerk, but as an agent.  She could be considered inept by many, but she somehow always has luck on her side, or maybe it's just the good Lord above.  She can never make it through a book without an inordinate amount of hijinks occurring and just all in all hilarity.  She is in an on again/off again relationship with Joe Morelli, a Trenton plainclothes cop/homicide detective.  She is often helped out on her skips by agent extraordinaire, Ranger, who has his own security business, and is apparently a hot Cuban piece of ass.  I don't see it but different strokes.  Also helping her, is hooker turned agent, Lula...a plus sized black woman trying to fit herself into size 2 neon or leopard print spandex.  

In book 16, the bail bonds office was burned down so now there's just an empty lot where the office used to be.  For the time being, until the office is rebuilt, the office is housed in an RV owned by a previous pothead sort of character named Mooner.  While trying to begin construction, a body is found in a shallow grave on the lot and it belongs to Lou Dugan, who has been missing for a bit...well...we found him.  While all of this is going on, Stephanie gets her list of skips including a geriatric gentleman who believes himself to be a vampire.  He failed to appear for court after biting someone.  She also sees Morelli's grandmother Bella in the local bakery and she puts the 'vordo' on Stephanie which is apparently a 'makes you horny forever' kind of evil eye thing.  Other bodies begin showing up that kind of circle back to Lou Dugan so there's a case developing there.  Stephanie's mother is also trying to set Stephanie up with Dave Brewer, a guy Stephanie knew in high school, but he had moved away to Georgia.  After some supposed criminal activity involving some real estate, he was acquitted of the charges, but he lost everything and had to move back in with his parents.  He  can cook like a professional chef, but he's seriously just creepy.  He won't seem to go away.  He keeps showing up at Stephanie's place because he wants to cook and he keeps trying to think it's going somewhere when all Stephanie is trying to do is get a good meal.  She tells him several times she's not interested, but he just won't seem to take the hint.  Meanwhile, bodies are stacking up and showing up outside Stephanie's apartment with a note pinned to their chest saying 'For Stephanie'.  Well then...now the murders/bodies have some connection to Stephanie, but what?  During all of these shenanigans, Stephanie is also being seemingly stalked by the brother of Jimmy Alpha, a guy she killed in like, the first book.  He wants revenge for his brother now that he is out of jail.  My.Lord.Stephanie.  How does this shit continue to happen to you?!   

Finally, after many hilarious and just outrageous comical events, we begin to learn who the culprit is.  Stephanie puts it together eventually, before the cops of course, and she ends up being held hostage by none other than Dave Brewer.  Apparently he's the reason all of these bodies were turning up and he had even killed a few folks while down in Georgia.  Looney Toon!  Now he's at Stephanie's because he wants her to run away with him to Thailand, and he has all of these American Airlines gift cards for them to get there with.  It is when he is dragging her out of her apartment, after he has packed a bag for her of course, that they run into Alpha and he wants to kill Stephanie.  It's at this moment that one of her FTA's (failure to appear kids) shows up trying to run her over with her car.  During a moment in which Stephanie seriously had the hand of God on her, Alpha shoots Dave, but Alpha ends up dead from being run over by the car.  HOW DOES THIS SHIT HAPPEN TO YOU, STEPHANIE?!  In the end, her life is no longer in danger, for now, and she has a shit ton of gift cards to go on a vacation with...so that's exactly what she does.  We don't find out though until book 18 just who she decides to take on this fantastic vacation with her.  

If you're looking for a fast paced, incredibly hilarious story, go pick up this series.  You'll finish the book in probably a day and you'll seriously laugh out loud at least once...for me it's always several times.  I'm really just hoping Stephanie gets it together in the relationship department though.  I don't think Ranger is marriage material, and Joe has actually asked her to marry him.  I wish she'd go for the cop...I love cops...go for the hot, Italian, cop with his own house and adorable dog named Bob!  On to book 18!               

Book 1 of 2016 - Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead

I've seen this movie about 20 times and I saw it way before I read the book.  I have this thing...I refuse to watch the movie AFTER I've read the book.  I can't enjoy the movie that way.  I spend all of my time criticizing the movie rather than enjoying myself, so I just don't do it.  Instead, I'll watch the movie and when I want to know what REALLY happened, I'll read the book.  That way, I'm not disappointed, because the truth is...THE BOOK IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN THE MOVIE!  

Here's how the book goes...if you want to see the movie, check out SHOtime...it's playing it on repeat lately.  It's also on Netflix Watch Instantly.

In this alternate, secret world within our world, there exists three other 'types', 'races', 'genotypes' (I don't know what you want to call them) of people.  Vampires, broken into subsets -- the Moroi...the good kind that don't drain you dry, use magic, and can actually go out in the daylight. The Strigoi...the ones who want to drink all of your blood, can't use magic, and can't go out in the daylight.  Problem is, the Strigoi are wicked strong and the Moroi are not.  Thus, the Moroi need dhampirs.  Dhampirs are half human, half Moroi making them stronger and faster than humans, but they also don't drink blood and they love the sunlight.  I feel like...that's the best of both worlds and yet the dhampirs are basically born to sacrifice themselves for the Moroi.  I'll take human then, thanks.  The Moroi are governed by a royal line of twelve families with the successor being chosen by a counsel of all of them, and never a descendant of the currently ruling monarch.  The Strigoi do what they want.  

Now that that little background info is out of the way, let us proceed with our characters and their story.  Rose Hathaway is a dhampir and her Moroi to guard is her best friend and last remaining member of the Dragomire royal family, Lissa.  Lissa's parents and brother were killed in an accident that Rose and Lissa somehow survived even though everyone said Rose should have died.  We begin our story with Rose and Lissa living in Oregon on a college campus even though they're still in high school, but Lissa has this nifty little trick called compulsion...it is what is sounds like.  They left St. Vladimir's Academy (school for the Moroi in Montana) at the vehement suggestion of their teacher, Ms, Karp.  Now, on one particular night, Rose looks out the window and realizes they have been found by the Guardians from St. Vladimir's Academy.  They try to make a run for it, but ultimately Guardian Dimitri Belikov (yummyness in a tall, dark, handsome, and Russian fashion) was able to stop them.  Back to Montana we go.  And then of course we enter the obligatory awkward, angsty, petty cat fight, bullshit world that is high school.  Turns out vampires have the same stupid bullshit drama that won't matter in 4 years drama that normal folks have.  High school can suck it...hardcore.  

Once back at the Academy, Lissa has to first use compulsion on the headmistress so she won't kick Rose out of school, and then the Dramasaurus Rex rears his ugly head.  The boyfriend Lissa left behind has moved on to some underclassman (Mia) who has a huge chip on her shoulders and is, quite frankly, a huge bitch.  Meanwhile, the boyfriend is still fawning all over Lissa but she has her eye on bad boy Christian...bad because his parents turned themselves Strigoi.  Huge faux pas.  Finally amongst the drama the plot actually begins to unfold...

Key points...

1. Lissa and Rose have a bond in which Rose feels what Lissa is feeling, specifically if it's a very strong emotion.  However, it's only a one way bond.  

2. Moroi can do magic...Earth, Water, Fire, and Air.  However, Lissa can do all four, and she has the ability to bring back animals (and people) from the brink of death.  I do believe we now know how Rose survived the car accident that should have killed her.  Lissa can also use compulsion on not only dhampirs and humans, but also other Moroi which is virtually unheard of.  

3.  Rose is undergoing double time sessions in her ass kicking training with hottie Dimitri...cue sexual tension with the hot older guy.  Sure he's only 7 years older than her but for the time being, that age gap seems absurd.  

4. The more Lissa uses her magic, the more it takes it out of her and weakens her.  Also, when she freaks out or has a panic attack, she cuts herself.  

5.  Lissa and Rose have taken a girl named Natalie under their wing.  She's a little geeky but her father is Victor Dashkov, one of the 12 royals.  It is important to note, he has a syndrome that is basically killing him.  He looks way older than 40 something and it is incurable.  I'm sure you see where all of this is going. 

6.  Someone keeps leaving dead animals at Lissa's door.   

Finally, after what felt like years of petty drama and unfolding background information, a school dance is approaching and Victor has arranged for the three girls to leave campus to go to the mall for shopping.  They find dresses and are, for at least once, just teenage girls...even though Rose's guard is up the entire time...thanks to all of those training sessions with Dimitri.  The dance is a raging success until Mia, the bitch Lissa's ex-bf or current bf or whatever the hell he is dated after Lissa, antagonizes everyone and Rose punches her in the face...literally.  Lissa leaves the dance in a tizzy and Rose is grabbed up by Guardians because she just punched a ho, but she at least has the sense to tell Christian (bad boy Lissa likes) to go after Lissa.  Whilst back in her room, Rose experiences that something is wrong through the bond she shares with Lissa.  She has been confined to her room but she knows Lissa and Christian need her so she sneaks out in order to go find Dimitri.  What she doesn't find out until she gets there, though, is that the necklace she was wearing for the dance (that Dashkov bought for her) actually contains a love charm.  Cue up heavy make out and petting session between Dimitri and Rose.  Before things go too far, Dimitri realizes what's up and once he removes the charm Rose remembers why she was seeking him out to begin with.  Rose uses her bond once again to determine that Lissa has been kidnapped by the goons of Victor Dashkov and he wants Lissa to heal him of his incurable disease.  SURPRISE!  As if that wasn't seen coming.  But...the band rushes in after Lissa has healed Victor and everyone is saved after several fight scenes.  Victor doesn't make a getaway and is taken into vampire jail which is housed in the basement of the Academy.  He requests to speak to Rose to discuss the bond she has with Lissa but she is surprised by an attack from his daughter, geeky Natalie, who has turned herself Strigoi.  Now that's dedication to being Daddy's Little Girl.  Dimitri rushes in to save Rose and he kills Natalie, but Victor gets away.  In the end, Rose and Dimitri still aren't together because dhampirs must remain loyal to the Moroi, but he would instead risk his life to protect Rose.  Christian and Lissa are now the new IT couple.  And we find Lissa's weird combination of magic is called Spirit and that St. Vladimir also had the same thing.  He never went Strigoi though because, like Lissa, he had a guardian who kept him on the right path.  Yay for a kind of happy ending but I know there are so many directions this series can go in.  

While there's a lot of teenage bullshit in this book, it actually goes incredibly fast.  It was a quick read and I actually find myself looking forward to what will happen next, particularly in the Rose and Dimitri world.  I'm sure it will be frustrating, but I hope they get a happy ending.