Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Book 2 - Smokin' Seventeen by Janet Evanovich


So, as the title would suggest this is number 17 of the Stephanie Plum series, and yes I've read all of them up to this point as well as the Between the Plum Novels.  I love pretty much everything Evanovich writes.  I fell off the bandwagon for a bit with this one though.  If you're a follower of the Plum series then you already know Ranger and Morelli.  I really just didn't like that she was slutting herself up between the two of them.  I am a die hard Morelli girl so I didn't like her sleeping with Ranger while she and Joe were still 'on'.  

For those of you have never read an Evanovich novel, here's a quick synopsis of what you've missed...and it's a lot considering this is book 17.  Anyway, Stephanie Plum used to work in a factory in Trenton, New Jersey until it closed down and she found herself with a car she couldn't afford and no job.  She needed money so she ended up going to work for her cousin Vinnie in his bail bonds agency...not as a desk clerk, but as an agent.  She could be considered inept by many, but she somehow always has luck on her side, or maybe it's just the good Lord above.  She can never make it through a book without an inordinate amount of hijinks occurring and just all in all hilarity.  She is in an on again/off again relationship with Joe Morelli, a Trenton plainclothes cop/homicide detective.  She is often helped out on her skips by agent extraordinaire, Ranger, who has his own security business, and is apparently a hot Cuban piece of ass.  I don't see it but different strokes.  Also helping her, is hooker turned agent, Lula...a plus sized black woman trying to fit herself into size 2 neon or leopard print spandex.  

In book 16, the bail bonds office was burned down so now there's just an empty lot where the office used to be.  For the time being, until the office is rebuilt, the office is housed in an RV owned by a previous pothead sort of character named Mooner.  While trying to begin construction, a body is found in a shallow grave on the lot and it belongs to Lou Dugan, who has been missing for a bit...well...we found him.  While all of this is going on, Stephanie gets her list of skips including a geriatric gentleman who believes himself to be a vampire.  He failed to appear for court after biting someone.  She also sees Morelli's grandmother Bella in the local bakery and she puts the 'vordo' on Stephanie which is apparently a 'makes you horny forever' kind of evil eye thing.  Other bodies begin showing up that kind of circle back to Lou Dugan so there's a case developing there.  Stephanie's mother is also trying to set Stephanie up with Dave Brewer, a guy Stephanie knew in high school, but he had moved away to Georgia.  After some supposed criminal activity involving some real estate, he was acquitted of the charges, but he lost everything and had to move back in with his parents.  He  can cook like a professional chef, but he's seriously just creepy.  He won't seem to go away.  He keeps showing up at Stephanie's place because he wants to cook and he keeps trying to think it's going somewhere when all Stephanie is trying to do is get a good meal.  She tells him several times she's not interested, but he just won't seem to take the hint.  Meanwhile, bodies are stacking up and showing up outside Stephanie's apartment with a note pinned to their chest saying 'For Stephanie'.  Well then...now the murders/bodies have some connection to Stephanie, but what?  During all of these shenanigans, Stephanie is also being seemingly stalked by the brother of Jimmy Alpha, a guy she killed in like, the first book.  He wants revenge for his brother now that he is out of jail.  My.Lord.Stephanie.  How does this shit continue to happen to you?!   

Finally, after many hilarious and just outrageous comical events, we begin to learn who the culprit is.  Stephanie puts it together eventually, before the cops of course, and she ends up being held hostage by none other than Dave Brewer.  Apparently he's the reason all of these bodies were turning up and he had even killed a few folks while down in Georgia.  Looney Toon!  Now he's at Stephanie's because he wants her to run away with him to Thailand, and he has all of these American Airlines gift cards for them to get there with.  It is when he is dragging her out of her apartment, after he has packed a bag for her of course, that they run into Alpha and he wants to kill Stephanie.  It's at this moment that one of her FTA's (failure to appear kids) shows up trying to run her over with her car.  During a moment in which Stephanie seriously had the hand of God on her, Alpha shoots Dave, but Alpha ends up dead from being run over by the car.  HOW DOES THIS SHIT HAPPEN TO YOU, STEPHANIE?!  In the end, her life is no longer in danger, for now, and she has a shit ton of gift cards to go on a vacation with...so that's exactly what she does.  We don't find out though until book 18 just who she decides to take on this fantastic vacation with her.  

If you're looking for a fast paced, incredibly hilarious story, go pick up this series.  You'll finish the book in probably a day and you'll seriously laugh out loud at least once...for me it's always several times.  I'm really just hoping Stephanie gets it together in the relationship department though.  I don't think Ranger is marriage material, and Joe has actually asked her to marry him.  I wish she'd go for the cop...I love cops...go for the hot, Italian, cop with his own house and adorable dog named Bob!  On to book 18!               



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